


My Wolf and I

by ThisIsMyTherapy



Category: Sterek - Fandom, teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, M/M, Mates, Slow Build, Top Derek Hale/Bottom Stiles Stilinski, pinning, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-01-23 21:11:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12516672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsMyTherapy/pseuds/ThisIsMyTherapy
Summary: Derek has been gone for almost four years until he receives a text from Peter.  Coming home would present some challenges, but Derek wasn't ready when his wolf recognized Stiles as his mate.  Not knowing how to handle it, he tries to keep his distance, but things get worse.  Peter tells him about a spell that can suppress his wolf until he can figure out what to do.Once his wolf isn't overwhelming Derek with claiming Stiles, they are able to form a friendship that leads to more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting a story without it being all the way done, but my best friend insisted and I just can't tell her no. I got this idea and couldn't let it go. I will try to post as much as I can and will update tags (sorry, I'm horrible at them). 
> 
> Also know that I have not finished 6B yet so I have no clue what's happened or how it all ended. 
> 
> Feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy <3

Derek stared out at the ocean with his phone gripped firmly in his hand.  It’s been over three years since he left Beacon Hills and although he feels pulled to return he’s not quite sure if he’s ready.  After parting ways with Braeden after the Desert Wolf, Derek found himself with Cora in South America.  He stayed with his sister, rebuilding a bond he thought was lost forever, but he couldn’t stay.  Cora was happy, content in her new pack, “for now,” she had stressed.  Ultimately, Cora wanted to be where Derek was, whenever he decided to settle.  He tried going back to New York, but only lasted a day.  Without Laura, it would never be the same.  He wasn’t the same.  He traveled to Chicago, then down to the midwest, but his wolf was never content.  Always restless.  The closer he moved to California, the more settled he felt.  His wolf knew and Derek was starting to get with the program too.  

 

The Oregon coast was beautiful.  Both rugged and unforgiving, yet incredibly calming and peaceful.  Beacon Hills was just six hours away.  If he left now he could be there for a late dinner.  Derek unfolded his fingers from his phone and went back to his messages.  

 

Peter: It’s time to come home.

 

Derek’s emotions were everywhere with those five words.  His wolf itched to go back, begging him to just get in the car and go  _ home.   _ Derek had forgiven Peter for killing Laura and for all the pain he caused after.  He had lost his mind.  Losing his family, his mate, then healing slowing with only his thoughts to guide him.  Derek knew that wasn’t the Peter he had grown to love as a boy.  And working through all the bad decisions Derek had made, well, if he could find a way to forgive himself, then he could find a way to forgive Peter.  He would never fully trust him, or at least not right away, but he was family and Derek hoped his newfound fatherhood would keep him from doing anything too stupid.  

 

_ Malia,  _ Derek thought.  He had a cousin--another member of his pack--family.  He didn’t know exactly how to feel about it, but his wolf was happy and felt the need to find her and bond with her.  Ever since his “transformation” in Mexico, Derek’s wolf has been stronger.  He never felt so at war with himself; trying to separate his primal wolf instinct with his human-self.  It was getting easier with practice, but sometimes Derek had a hard time separating the two.  

 

Derek took one last look at his phone and made his decision.  He typed out a quick “Ok” before putting it back in his pocket.  Closing his eyes and tilting his head toward the cold mist coming off the cliff, Derek took in a long breath, and then exhaled slowly.  “We’re going home,” he told his wolf.  His wolf preened.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Stiles looked up from the ancient book he was reading to see Peter smirk at his phone.  “Whoa, what is that?”  He asked while pointing an accusing finger at Peter’s face.

“What?” Peter asked in mock innocence.

 

“That thing--on your face.  It’s weird and scary, and never means anything good.”  Peter rolled his eyes in exasperation before replying.  “Just received a text from my nephew is all.”  

 

“Derek?” Stiles squeaked, but if anyone asked he would deny, deny, deny.  Stiles leaned back in his chair feigning nonchalance before saying, “oh...and how is he?”  

 

Peter’s smirk turned knowing, “very well.  Thinking of coming home actually.”  He was looking at his nails acting as if he hadn’t just dropped a huge bomb.  Stiles knew he couldn’t hide the way his heartbeat sped up or the smells he knew he was radiating.  But to be honest, he’s not sure what he would smell (like ?).  Confusion? Hope? Longing?  Stiles wasn’t sure.  He had spent a lot of time thinking about Derek after he left.  At first, it was just wondering how he was and what progress he was making in finding the Desert Wolf.  Then he saw his initials and found himself missing him.  Their relationship was...complicated.  That’s the best way to describe it.  You don’t accuse someone of murdering his own sister, become his personal punching bag, save each other’s lives over and over, and then build a somewhat companionship of tolerating each other, and not have it be complicated. Stiles often replays what happened in Mexico, how he felt when Derek told him to save Scott and leave him behind.  How things would have changed if Derek hadn’t turned into a wolf.  

 

A lot has happened since then and Derek hasn’t been here for it.  He got out and Stiles hopes he got the closure and fresh start he deserved, but he couldn’t help the feeling of anticipation and contentment at the thought of him coming back.  Stiles honestly didn’t think it would ever happen.  He left the town that took almost everything thing from him.  If it were him, Stiles doesn’t think he could ever stay and not feel resentment.

 

“Stiles…,” Peter said almost amused.  Stiles looked up not realizing he had been so lost in his thoughts.  “If you’re done pinning away for my nephew…,” he continued, gesturing toward the book in front of Stiles.

 

It was Stiles’ turn to roll his eyes, “I was not  _ pinning _ .  God, why do I always draw the short stick to have to hang out with you?”  Stiles said the last part more to himself, but it caused Peter to chuckle, “Oh Stiles, I love it when you pretend to hate our little research sessions.”

 

Stiles flailed a little making a choking sound, “Research is awesome, you, not so much.”  Peter, never fazed by Stiles’ words just smiled.

  
  


Stiles dragged himself up to his room after spending all afternoon doing research with Peter and adding to the Bestiary.  He gets that he’s the human and smartest behind Lydia which automatically volunteers him to do this with Peter, but fuck it’s exhausting.  He was also a bit more distracted with thoughts of Derek.  Refusing to bring him up, Stiles thought about when he may be coming back.  Where was he anyway?  How would the reunion go?  It was all consuming and ridiculous and absolute hell that Peter seemed to know exactly what he was thinking.  Peter finally deemed him worthless and sent him home, not that Stiles was complaining.  

 

Reaching his room, Stiles began to pull clothes over his head and down his body, not caring where they ended up.  Walking to his bathroom, Stiles started the shower, testing the water with his hand before stepping inside.  The warm water moved down his body as Stiles braced himself with his hands against the wall, tilting his head down so the water ran down his head and neck.  Stiles opted to stay close to his dad for school and living at home was good enough for him.  His dad was gone most nights and if he ever hooked up with anyone it was at their place.  He was comfortable and content, two things he hasn’t always had the luxury to feel.  Stiles turned around, grabbed his shampoo, and started to lather it in his hair.  Thoughts turning back to Derek, he couldn’t help picturing the last time he saw him.  Smiling, getting into the car with Braeden, it’s been almost four years.  

 

A lot has changed, but a lot has also stayed the same.  Beacon Hills has always been a shit storm where the supernatural was concerned, but over the last year, there hasn’t been much.  Rogue omega that was quickly handled and then a run in with some unruly fairies, things have been pretty quiet.  If Derek were to come back, now would be the perfect time.  Rinsing the shampoo, Stiles grabbed the soap and cleaned himself thoroughly before turning off the water and toweling off.  Slipping into boxers, he turned off his light then flung himself on his bed.  Moving back and forth, kicking his feet, and fluffing pillows he finally settled on a comfortable position.  Closing his eyes, Stiles couldn’t help feeling a little flip of anticipation, wondering when Derek would be back.

 


	2. Chapter 2

As Derek approached the Welcome to Beacon Hills sign, his wolf became more and more excited while he couldn't seem to fight the lingering nervousness.  He couldn’t wait for the day where him and his wolf were insync.  Constantly feeling like he needed to fight himself was torture.  Pulling in front of the loft, Derek turned off the engine of the Toyota, pulled the keys out of the ignition, and then leaned back staring up at the large window.  He could smell Peter, picking him out immediately, but he could also smell Scott and some unfamiliar scents.  With a gust of wind, Derek closed his eyes as he took in a whiff of sweet honey, sweat, musk, and something he couldn’t quite distinguish, but knew who it belonged to--Stiles.  Derek knew by the one heartbeat that no one but Peter was here, but the scents were embedded in the area as if they come here often.  

 

“Coming up nephew?” Derek heard faintly.  He let out a long breath before grunting in response  As he got out of the car he could make out an amused chuckle.  Holding his bag in one hand, Derek slid open the door.  Peter was standing in the middle of the loft with his usual smirk.  “So good to see you Derek,” he said in greeting.  Derek took a few steps inside and slid the door closed before responding.  “Right….you too.”  It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t easy either.  There would be no long embraces and pats on the back.  But not feeling the urge to rip out his throat was progress.  Derek took in the loft.  The space was no longer sparse, but had a couch that was in a half circle and could fit up to ten people and a loveseat.  In front of the massive couch was at least a 60-inch TV hooked up to several game consoles.  There was a long table with at least 15 chairs and looking into the kitchen, it was fully stocked with everything it needed and a fancy coffee maker.  Turning, Derek watched as Peter made his way closer to him.  “You made a lot of changes,” Derek offered.

 

Peter smirked, “ah yes.  The human can be very persistent in what the pack needs,” Peter answered.  Confused, Derek said, “Human? Pack?”  

 

“You’ve been gone a long time, drop the bag, I’ll fill you in,” Peter told him.  Derek took a seat on the leather couch and waited.  Peter explained that by human, he meant Stiles.  Derek should have known.  What was most interesting was that Peter said Pack as if he was a part of it.  “Well, unofficially.  I guess you could say I’m tolerated and a member without fully accepting Scott as my Alpha.  We have an understanding and we usually have Pack meetings here,” Peter explained.  He went on to tell him how him and Stiles meet a few nights a week to research every big bad they’ve faced and others they haven’t yet.  They want information on any and every known supernatural entity so they can be prepared.  Derek listened, taking in as much as he could, but not fully grasping onto any feeling for too long.  Feeling overwhelmed, Derek excused himself to make a cup of coffee.  

 

Scott had a pack, a growing one apparently.  Liam, Corey, Mason, Hayden, Stiles, Lydia, Malia, and Peter.  Kira came back over a year ago and her and Scott are back together.  Lydia is at MIT and usually joins through Skype and during holidays.  They were thriving and had done it without Derek.  His wolf didn’t care, just yearned to be a part of a pack again, but his human side couldn’t  help but wonder where he would fit in.

 

As Derek poured coffee into his mug, he heard the distinct sound of the jeep pulling into the parking lot, the erratic heartbeat, and familiar scent of Stiles.  Putting his mug on the counter, he gripped the edges to steady himself.  As the scent grew stronger, his wolf was growing restless. He wanted, no  _ needed  _ to find the scent, roll around in it, entangling their scents together to mark him as  _ his.   _ “What the fuck,” Derek muttered to himself.  The door was pushed open and with it, Stiles’ voice, “Hey! Is that Derek’s car out front?  Hellooo…..creeper undead wolf….oh...there you are.  I came to get that book back…”   Before Derek knew he was moving, he was in the door of the kitchen, nails digging into the doorframe to hold himself back from pouncing on Stiles like his wolf was insisting.  

 

“Derek! Hey….whoa, are you Ok?”  Stiles asked.  Derek was trying very hard to not wolf out, but it was getting harder to hold himself back.  He didn’t understand this reaction.  He was unprepared and confused.  Peter locked eyes with Derek, sniffing the air, Peter’s eyebrows shot up in wonder then looked between Stiles and Derek several times before adjusting his features and smirking a bit.  “Huh….makes sense though.”  Stiles turned to Peter, “what does?”  Peter just shrugged.  Stiles rolled his eyes and turned back to Derek, taking a few steps forward and saying, “welcome back man….” Stiles trailed off, eyes widening when Derek growled at him.  His wolf was pissed, but he didn't’ know what else to do.  “Derek’s just tired Stiles, long journey and all that.  A bit weird to be back.  Forgive his manners,” Peter interjected.  Stiles looked toward Peter and relaxed slightly.  “Right...yeah...uh…,” Stiles looked down and rubbed the back of his head.  The movement was so familiar his wolf whimpered, making Derek let out a pained noise.  Stiles’ head whipped up to stare at him.  “Excuse me,” Derek gritted out before turning back into the kitchen and gripping the counter again.

 

“Umm….should we have the pack meeting at my house tonight?”  Stiles asked Peter so softly and unsure that his wolf wanted to wrap him up, cover him, and make him relax.  Anxiety and uncertainty was coming off Stiles in waves.  “No no, he just needs some rest and food.  You know how grumpy he can be.  Be here at seven.  I’ll order take out.”

 

“Thai?” Stiles said perking up, making his scent sweeter.  Derek hated that Peter had been the one to cause that reaction.  “Of course,”  Peter replied.  Derek listened as Stiles rushed out of the loft.  As he rode down the elevator, got into his jeep, and sped away.  He didn’t fully relax for several minutes after Derek couldn’t hear his heartbeat anymore.  When Derek finally went back out to the living room, Peter was sitting at the couch flipping through the pages of a small book absently.  “Well that was an interesting development.”

 

“What is wrong with me?” Derek groaned as he flopped down on the couch, leaning forward and cradling his head in his hands.  “Oh dear nephew,” Peter started, sounding both sympathetic and amused.  “You really don’t know?”  Derek looked up, pinning his uncle with a glare.

 

Holding up his hands in surrender, Peter put his book down, leaned forward and said with such seriousness Derek swallowed, preparing himself.  “Your wolf recognizes Stiles as your mate.”  

 

To his credit, Peter kept his face absolutely still.  He didn’t smirk, blink, or give any indication that he wasn’t being one hundred percent serious.  Derek blinked a few times before yelling, “WHAT?!?!”

 

Peter sighed.  “Come on Derek.  You know about the mating bond.  Your wolf recognizes Stiles as your mate so from now on, you will be pulled to him.  Your wolf will not rest until he claims him.”  Derek couldn’t say anything.  Yes, he knew about the mating bond, but after Paige and then Kate and Jennifer, he never gave it another thought.  Not every werewolf finds their mate and Derek was fine with him being one of them.  “But Stiles?” Derek found himself saying out loud.  

 

At that, Peter did finally smirk, “it’s really kind of perfect.”  Derek pinned him with a glare.  This was not perfect.  How the hell was he supposed to be around Stiles when all his wolf wanted to do was  _ claim  _ him.  Derek just wanted to come home, see the pack and see if he could make his home here again.  He didn’t need this shit.   _ And really wolf, Stiles _ ?  Derek thought.  Letting out another groan, Derek dropped his head back in his hands.  “This is so fucked up,” Derek mumbled.  Peter chuckled, “and oh so brilliant.”  Derek didn’t have enough energy to tell his uncle to fuck off, so he continued to keep his eyes closed tight and tried to figure out what the hell he was going to do next.


	3. Chapter 3

Stiles drove straight to Scott’s to tell him about seeing Derek.  Fucking Derek was back--his behavior confusing to say the least.  He has no clue what Derek has been doing these past 3 years, aside from spending time with Cora, but  _ something  _ is clearly off about him.  Or maybe he is just stressed about being home.  Stiles didn’t know for sure, but the one thing he did know was that he looked twenty times as scrumptious as he remembers, which, unfair.  

 

Stiles parked the Jeep haphazardly in Scott’s driveway and ran up the steps to his front door.  Letting himself in, Scott was making his way down the stairs to meet him.  “What’s wrong?”  He asked immediately.

 

Scrunching up his nose Stiles said, “What? Oh, nothing dude.”  

 

“Then why is your heart beating like crazy and you smell like…..,” Scott trailed off taking in a huge, dramatic breath.  Stiles had enough time to roll his eyes before Scott’s eyes widened.  “Is that Derek’s scent?”  To be fair,Stiles barely got close enough to really be scented by Derek, so, bravo Scott, but also he couldn’t help the small pleased feeling at smelling like Derek.

 

“Yep,” was his answer.  Scott stared at him trying to figure out the puzzle Stiles had become.  “But how?”  

 

“He’s back,” Stiles answered.  And wow did it feel good to say.  Scott fumbled for words so Stiles took pity on him and explained Peter’s text and seeing Derek in the loft just a few minutes ago.  

 

“Wow...that’s….that’s kinda really awesome,” Scott told him after a few minutes to process.  “Do you think he’ll stay?”  Stiles tried to play it as cool as possible.  What he wanted to say was, “he better stay!” But instead settled on a shrug that clearly missed the coolness he is was reaching for.  

 

“Yeah, I hope he does too,” Scott said with a smirk and pat on Stiles’ shoulder.  Before the moment could get too weird, Scott removed his hand and said, “I’ll let everyone know so they can do what they need to do to act cool.  From what you said, he is clearly having a hard time with being back.  I don’t need any of my new betas getting killed.”

 

Stiles snorted at “my betas”.  He reached over and ruffled his best friends hair “good Alpha”.  Scott blushed and mumbled “shut up”.  Stiles left him to it and made his way back home.  He wanted to shower and make himself presentable in a way that didn’t look like he was trying.  

 

Stiles settled on clean jeans, clean black shirt, and clean red flannel.  Key words were “clean”, that’s about as fancy as his wardrobe got these days.  He gave himself a pep talk before heading over to the loft.  Stiles was thrumming with energy and couldn’t help it, but he was hoping the pack would ignore it and focus on the new arrival.  

 

Pulling up to park, Scott was getting off his bike at the same time.  They walked in together, not bothering to knock.  Stiles was immediately taken back by the smile that Derek shot his way, only to feel his stomach bottom out at watching him go straight to Scott and embrace him in what could only be described as an epic bro-hug.  What was even worse, was Derek turned Scott away from the door and walked him deeper into the loft, completely ignoring Stiles.  “Oh, hi, nice to see you again,” Stiles muttered under his breath knowing the werewolves would hear.  Looking back at them, they clearly didn’t care.  

 

Stiles tried to shake it off and told himself it was nothing.  He was just excited to see Scott and it had nothing to do with Stiles.  But as the night went on he knew he was just trying to make himself feel better.  When Liam and Hayden arrived, Derek shook Liam’s hand saying, “it’s good to see you again….you look like you’ve really got a handle on things…” blah blah blah.  He listened to Hayden, enraptured, and laughed, freaking  _ laughed.   _ When Kira showed up, he wrapped her in a hug and took in her scent.  And when Corey and Mason came in he was all manners and politeness, falling into an easy rhythm.  Peter watched from the corner like the creeper he was; allowing Derek to take his time and get to know everyone.  Stiles, pouted on the couch and didn’t even hide watching Derek’s every move.  He knew Derek could feel him and was making the conscious effort  _ not  _ to look his way.  

 

As he was burning a hole in the back of Derek’s head, the door flew open.  Malia stood in the open space and flashed her eyes.  Everyone stopped, expecting her to say something to Peter or Derek, but her gaze met Stiles’ and she went right to him.  “What’s wrong?” She asked, pulling him up off the couch to inspect him.  Slapping her hands away, Stiles tried to make her stop.  “Nothing’s wrong….Malia stop….whoa!”  Stiles tried to spin out of her touch, but ended up falling onto the couch with her following.  She settled her nose deep in his throat and took in a big whiff.  “You smell…..off.  I don’t like it.”  

 

Pushing Malia away, “Malia! We’ve talked about this.  You can’t just get all up in this like that anymore!”  Stiles screamed waving his hands over his body to punctuate his point.  The pack laughed, but there was a low growl coming from Derek.  Malia turned sharply pointing an accusing finger, “you”.  Derek pulled in his temper, smoothing his features before responding, “Malia, it’s good to see you.”  Malia ignored him and turned back to Stiles, searching his face.  Stiles forced a smile and placed his hands on her shoulders.  “Hey, I’m good.  Promise.”  At his touch, Malia visibly relaxed.  Searching his face a bit more and hearing no lie in his words, Malia nodded once then turned to Derek.  “Derek.”  Was all he got.  Everyone let out a collective breath while Malia sat down next to Stiles in a more appropriate way.  Derek watched them for a split second before forcibly turning away.  Conversations came to an end as everyone found their way back to the couches.  Stiles was squashed between Malia, Scott, and Kira.  Derek stood against the wall away from everyone, but still close enough to be involved.  

 

Pack meetings haven’t really been more than excuses to get together since the supernatural has taken a bit of a break, but tonight Peter and Stiles were going to update progress on the Bestiary and then watch a movie and pig out on Thai.  Liam decided it was time to get the formalities out of the way.  “So, can you guys hurry up with the supernatural update so we can get to the good stuff?”  And by good stuff, pretty sure he meant cuddling and trying to sneak kisses with Hayden.  Stiles rolled his eyes, “Oh why yes Liam, please let us hurry through all the hard work we’ve been pouring into making sure your ass doesn’t get dead when some unknown creature comes to town...again.”  Liam rolled his own eyes, but was cut off by Peter, “Thai will be here in ten.”

 

Stiles’ stomach took that moment to groan in appreciation.  He shot up to do a quick update.  “Right right.  Ok, we have made it to F.  Peter and I are feeding Deaton the information and he is then compiling everything he has on the big bads.  The end.”  Stiles went to sit down, but before he could, Derek spoke up.  “Exactly what kind of information are you collecting?”  He asked.  Stiles settled down next to Malia, but looked up to see everyone staring at him.  Oh.  Derek was actually talking to him.  Letting out a deep breath, Stiles got up again to answer his question.  

 

“Well, your uncle and I started to create our own Bestiary.  We took all the information we have already collected on the crazy creatures we’ve already been up against.  Then we deepened our research, since, you know, in the moment of trying not to die we only cared about not dying.  So we are digging deeper.  Finding out their origins, what makes them stronger, weaker, what kills them, are they dangerous or just a nuisance, how their network operates, are they lone rangers, or do they run in packs, etc.”  Stiles again went to move back to the couch, when he was interrupted again.  “And where are you finding all this information? Wikipedia may not be the best place for these things.”

 

Stiles spun around to face the grumpy werewolf.  “Really? You mean I can’t just google ‘how to kill a kanima’ and have everything at my fingertips on wikipedia?  Considering half that information  _ i  _ added?  Hmmm….let me see.  Peter was so gracious to offer access to the ancient books he had hidden away in his underground vault.  Then there is Deaton who also has access to ancient Druid books.  Stanford also has a great occult section in the basement of their University Library, so Lydia and I went down and copied pretty much everything.  Anything else?”  The question was rhetorical, but Derek was ready to say something again, but was cut off by the doorbell being rung.  

 

“Food’s here,” Peter announced unnecessarily.  Stiles took off toward the kitchen to start taking down plates, putting out forks, and waiting to help Peter set up a buffet on the counter.  He may have been slamming cupboards, but no one came in to help.  Peter came in a minute later holding a ridiculous amount of food.  Stiles took a bag from him without saying a word.  Taking out containers, Peter let out a sigh, “you know..,” he started.  

 

“No.  Just no,” Stiles cut him off pointing a fork toward him.  Peter let out another sigh and kept his mouth shut.  Stiles piled his plate with food and took his place at the table.  At seeing Stiles settled, the pack moved in to make their own plates, Scott placing a hand on his shoulder as he passed.  One by one, the pack sat down at the table.  Derek was last, sitting at the far end, furthest away from Stiles.  The pack talked around them, but Stiles didn’t have anything to add.  There was no reason that Derek was acting like he was toward him.  And if there was, then Derek needed to be an adult and use his stupid words.  Stiles could feel Malia looking at him from time to time, and as they made their way back to the couch to start the movie, she snuggled a bit closer than she has in over a year.  

 

Stiles wasn’t paying attention to the movie at all.  He could feel the sense of someone watching him and knew it was Derek.  Well fuck him.  Stiles was over it.  He’s missed Derek, was happy to have him back,and  to just be ignored and treated like some stupid kid was bullshit.  He wasn’t a kid anymore and was far from stupid.  So he most certainly didn’t watch out of the corner of his eye as Derek excused himself.  Nor did he watch Derek climb the stairs slowly, his arms flexing as he used the rail for balance he didn’t need.  And he most definitely didn’t stare at the closed door wondering what the hell was going on in Derek’s head.


	4. Chapter 4

Derek dropped onto his large bed face first, not bothering to brace himself.   _ That was a disaster,  _ he thought.  All night he was hyper aware of where Stiles was, what he was doing, the up-tick in his heartbeat when Derek ignored him, the smell of hurt, anger, and longing.  His wolf wanted to curl itself around Stiles, bury his nose in his neck, and make it clear he was his.  Derek could do nothing but avoid him.  But when he gave his little update, Derek couldn’t stop himself from wanting to hear his voice.  He knew he was being an ass, but until he could keep his wolf in check, there wasn’t much else he could do.  

 

Time passed by as Derek heard one person after the other leave for the night.  Stiles was last, lingering to talk to Peter.  The smell of uncertainty was so strong, Derek could smell it in his room.  “Do you think we should meet in the library on Thursday?”  Stiles asked.

 

“Why would we do that?” Peter asked.  Derek could tell he was being obtuse on purpose.  Apparently so did Stiles because Derek could  _ feel  _ his eye roll through the walls.  

 

Attempting a whisper, Stiles hissed, “oh, I don’t know.  Maybe because a certain asswolf has made it clear I’m not welcome here?”  Peter chuckled, which made Stiles’ scent shift from uncertainty to annoyance.  

 

“It’s fine.  If he can’t behave himself then he can find somewhere else to be,” Peter told him.  Stiles let out a long sigh.  “Fine.  I’ll see you Thursday then,” Stiles answered.  Derek listened as Stiles got into his Jeep and drove away.  A few minutes of silence covered the loft before Peter spoke from his room across the hall.  “That went well.”

 

“Shut up,” Derek all, but growled.

 

“You’ll have to figure something out Derek.”

 

“I know.”

 

“If you really want to make Beacon Hills your home, alienating the glue holding this pack together is not smart.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I don’t understand why you don’t just tell him.”

 

“Just drop it Peter.”

 

Peter sighed.  Silence fell for a few minutes before Peter spoke again.  “He will figure out something is off and go investigating.  You know him Derek.  He won’t let it go until the mystery is solved.”

 

Derek took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “I know…” He replied trailing off and closing his eyes.  Resisting his wolf is exhausting, maybe getting some sleep can conjure up some answers.  

  
  


The only answer Derek came up with was avoidance.  The next day, Derek went out to the preserve for the first time since he left.  He ran from one end to the other, exhausting himself, and then finally settled in by sitting in the middle of the empty space where his house used to be.  The county deemed it unsafe, tearing it down along with the skeleton of what happened to his family.  Derek laid down, hands behind his head, closing his eyes to soak up the warm sun.  Cora and he had talked about rebuilding.  Not necessarily where the house used to be, but on their property.  It was still their property even though the county tore down the house. When they first talked about it, Derek couldn’t imagine rebuilding.  Wounds were still too fresh and he wasn’t even sure he ever wanted to come back.  But the more time he spent away from Beacon Hills the more pulled he felt to it.  Maybe it was the pack bond that still lingered, maybe it was Peter, or maybe, now that he knows, it could have been his wolf seeking his mate.  Derek didn’t know much about the mate bond, but he knew it was for life.  When a wolf finds his mate, they claim each other and form a bond that lasts their lifetime.  When one mate dies or is separated, the bond is still there.  The wolf searches for his mate, essentially going crazy in the effort.  No one knows how mates are chosen or what draws mates together, but it is a bond not to be taken lightly.  Derek knows deep down that to deny this connection, it will slowly drive him crazy.  Or the wolf will take matters into his own hands and do something that neither of them could come back from.  

 

Derek spent almost the entire day out in the preserve.  He allowed himself to think about his family, about Cora, and the potential for starting over.  When he made it back to the loft, Peter was out.  He showered and ate a quick dinner of leftover Thai.  As he ate, Derek decided to follow Stiles’ lead.  He was going to try to ignore the problem until it went away.

  
  


Three days passed before Derek saw Stiles again.  He had actively stayed out of the loft when he knew Stiles would be working on the Bestiary with Peter.  It was late Friday night when Derek stumbled into the loft after being out in the preserve again.  He didn’t hear the steady beat of Stiles’ heart until he was staring at his sleeping form on the couch.  Before he knew what he was doing, he ran his hand down Stiles’ cheek softly.  Stiles tilted his face into his touch and Derek’s wolf itched to get closer.  Derek moved his fingers to brush the side of his neck as he stretched.  The touch was enough to wake Stiles.  Amber eyes slowing opened, first confused, then widening.  With a shriek, Stiles shot up and tumbled off the couch.  Derek’s hand shot out to catch him, pulling him upright.  Stiles pulled out of his reach mumbling, “Sorry, sorry.  I’m leaving.”

 

“It’s fine Stiles….,” Derek started to say, but Stiles’ expression was pinched with he said, “oh yeah, clearly by the flashing blue eyes.  Totally  _ fine. _ ”  Stiles was pacing around the couch grabbing his shoe and discarded flannel.  Derek hadn’t even known he flashed his eyes.  It must have been a reaction to his touch.

 

“Seriously Stiles…,” Derek tried to say, but Stiles wasn’t listening, but instead talking to himself.  “Where the hell is my other shoe?  Did I even bring my hoodie with me?  God, how did I fall asleep?.  Oh it’s fine, he said.  Right, just fine.  Fucking fantastic.”  Looking up, Stiles finally acknowledged Derek, “you know what.  Keep my damn shoe.  I gotta go.”  Stiles stormed out, slamming the door closed behind him.  Derek stood there slightly stunned.  He looked down at the coffee table and saw Stiles’ keys.  Picking them up, Derek started toward the door just to have it yanked back open by Stiles.  “I don’t have my keys!”  He yelled as he entered.  Derek held them up and Stiles glared at them as if they had betrayed him.  Without a word, Stiles snatched them out of Derek’s hand and stormed back out.  Derek stood in the same spot for several minutes.  He didn’t know what the hell had just happened, but couldn’t really blame Stiles.  Maybe avoidance wasn’t the answer after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Stiles jumped into his Jeep and tried to take calm steadying breaths.  He didn’t know exactly how he was feeling, but pissed was a good start.  Peter had asked him to come over to discuss something Deaton found.  It wasn’t supposed to take that long, but one minute he was taking a break on the couch and the next thing he was waking up to Derek’s blue werewolf eyes staring down at him.  Finally calmed down enough to start driving, Stiles turned on the Jeep and made his way home.  He was getting real tired of Derek’s attitude and wasn’t sure how much more he could take.  He knew they weren’t friends, but he didn’t understand this hostility or blatant dismissal.  As far as he knew, Derek was good with everyone else, but for some unknown, unexplained reason, he couldn’t stand him.  He wanted to reach out to Cora, but he may just make it worse.  Stiles could almost handle Derek being an asshole if he knew  _ why _ , this not knowing is killing him.  

 

Pulling into his driveway, there was a figure sitting on his front steps.  The Jeep’s headlights revealed Maila waiting for him.  “What are you doing here?”  Stiles asked as he got out of the car.  Maila shrugged, “Couldn’t sleep.”  Stiles nodded in understanding and let her in, closing the door behind him.  

 

“You were with Derek?”  Malia asked.  Stiles rolled his eyes, “No, I was with Peter and fell asleep.  Derek came home so I left.”  

 

“What’s his deal?”  

 

Stiles let out a laugh, “who knows?  Are you thirsty? Hungry?  Malia nodded and watched as Stiles took out two soda’s and grabbed two bags of chips.  Without a word, they made their way up to Stiles’ room.  Malia made herself comfortable on the bed as Stiles changed into pajama bottoms and settled in next to her.  They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes before Malia asked, “How do you feel about Derek being back?”  A little taken aback, Stiles shrugged, “I’m glad.  It’s his home, he’s pack, and it’s nice to have him back.”

 

“Is it?”  Malia asked confused.  Stiles sighed, “look.  I know he’s been a dick, but he’s a good guy.  I don’t know what his deal is, but I think you should give him a chance.”

 

“I don’t like the way he treats you,” Malia explained.  Stiles gave her a small smile and placed a hand on hers.  “Derek and I have always had a complicated relationship. We’ll figure it out, but I think you guys would be good for each other.”

 

Malia’s face scrunched up, “why?”  Stiles laughed.  “Because he could tell you how to navigate Peter.  He’s not as clueless as he seems sometimes, and he’s family Malia.”

 

“You’re family,” she countered.  Stiles couldn’t help the contentment that took over him at hearing that.  

 

“I just mean, he’s lost almost everyone.  He’s used to having so many people around him and you are used to being alone.  I think you guys would understand each other more than you know.  You have an opportunity to find out where you come from.  I just want you to take the opportunity to get to know him.  No matter what he is or isn’t to me.  Form your own opinion.”

 

Malia was quiet for a few minutes before she responded, “you know, I think you might be part wolf after all.”  It was Stiles’ turn to scrunch up his nose in confusion.  “How?”

 

“Because your first instinct is always to protect,” she explained.  Stiles rolled his eyes and smiled, “of course it is.  You’re pack.”

 

“I wasn’t talking about me.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Stiles tried to stay away from the loft as long as he could.  He made sure his dad was home during the last pack meeting and told everyone he needed to spend time with his dad.  Peter knew better and has been texting Stiles non-stop about him being left to do all the work.  After almost a week, Stiles deemed it safe to return.  

 

Walking into the loft after how he left the other night was a bit strange, but he felt better knowing Derek was out.  “Ok Peter….I’m here after all your dramatics.  Where the hell are you?”  Stiles announced as he took his flannel off and threw it toward the couch.

 

“Says the man avoiding my nephew,” Peter said as he appeared at the top of the stairs.  Stiles jumped, spinning around and almost falling.  “Jesus dude!  I know you can hear me when I get here! Just once can you not be an asshole?”

 

Peter just smirked, “and where’s the fun in that?”  Stiles mumbled some very unfavorable things as he sat down at the table.  Looking at the books, Stiles noticed that  _ nothing  _ has been done since the last time he was there.

 

“Really dude?  You’ve literally done nothing.  What the hell were you complaining about?”  Peter sat across from him with a pretentious pout.  “I wasn’t about to do anything without your approval and then have to go back and change it.  You’ve wallowed enough.  It was time to get back to work.”

 

“I wasn’t wallowing…,” Stiles murmured, not able to meet his eyes.  Peter let out a breath of amusement.  Ignoring Peter, Stiles got back to work right where they left off.  Engrossed in what they were doing, time passed without either of them realizing how late it was getting.  Stiles’ stomach announced that it needed to be fed with a long rumble.  “Ok Peter, you need to feed me.”

 

Peter’s eyebrows shot up in a way only a Hale could pull off.  “Oh don’t look at me like that.  I”ve been here for….,” Stiles trailed off looking at his phone; “four hours!  And you haven’t even offered me a snack.  So feed me.”  Peter rolled his eyes, but got up from the table and walked to the door.  

 

“Where are you going?” Stiles asked.  

 

Turning, Peter answered, “to go get you some food.  I want Italian and they don’t deliver.”  Stiles slumped back in his chair.  On one hand that sounded amazing.  But on the other hand, he was nervous about being here alone and Derek coming back.  Reading him perfectly, Peter said, “Derek won’t be home for a few hours yet.  You’ll be fine.”

 

“I wasn’t worried about Derek,” Stiles replied defensively knowing Peter would here the lie.  Peter rolled his eyes and muttered a “sure” as he walked out and slide the door closed behind him.

 

This wasn’t the first time Stiles had been alone in the loft, but it felt like he was trespassing knowing Derek wouldn’t want him there.  Returning back to the Bestiary, Stiles tried to concentrate, but his attempts were futile.  He looked down at his phone and noted Peter had been gone over thirty minutes.  Standing and then stretching, Stiles went into the kitchen to get out plates and serving utensils.  Placing two plates on the counter, Stiles reached up to grab two cups for soda.  As he turned, the plates, not fully on the counter, were knocked off.  Stiles either had to drop the cups to catch the plates or try to be quick enough to place the cups on the counter and then save the plates.  Who was he kidding, there was no way the plates would survive.  

 

At the loud crash, Stiles watched as pieces of the plates went flying.  “Shit!  Shit! Stiles yelled, dropping to his hands and knees before realizing what he was doing.  “Aw fuck!” He yelled as a piece of glass cut into his hand.  

 

“Stiles?”  He heard from the doorway.  Startled, he spun around causing the piece of glass to sink deeper.  “Ahh,” he groaned, lifting up his hand.  

 

Derek rounded the island in the kitchen and crouched down.  “Stiles, what the fuck are you doing?”  It came out angry and it pissed Stiles off.  “Just breaking your shit and cutting myself in the process.  Nothing to concern yourself with,” Stiles bit out as he stood to go to the sink.  “Stiles, let me see it,” Derek replied in a growl.

 

Stiles let out a harsh laugh, “right, I’ll get right on that.”  Before he knew it, Derek was turning him to face him and pushed him against the wall.  “What the fuck dude!” Stiles yelped.  Derek placed one hand on his shoulder and then took his other hand in his to inspect it.  Blue wolf eyes flashed and clashed with Stiles’.  “Let.  Me.  Look.”  Derek bit back.  Stiles froze, but couldn’t stop his heart from beating erratically.  Derek gingerly turned his hand over and used two claws to remove the piece of glass.  Before Stiles could pull his hand back, Derek bent down and licked the cut.

“Whoa!” Stiles shrieked, trying to pull his hand back only to have it yanked forward for Derek to lick again.  After another lick, Derek suddenly dropped his hand and leaned into Stiles, taking in his scent.  Stiles shuddered, both from arousal and fear.  Derek closed his eyes and looked like he was trying to calm himself down.  Stiles couldn’t move, but his heart beat faster and faster and his body began to tremble.  

 

Eyes still closed, Derek spoke quietly.  “Stiles, I promise I am not going to hurt you, Ok?”  Stiles nodded ever so slightly even though Derek couldn’t see him.  “Ok,” he continued.  “I need you to try to calm down for me.  Close your eyes and breath in on one and out on two.”  Stiles hesitated, not sure what to do.  “I need….just….just trust me Stiles,” Derek all but whispered.  And the funny thing was, even in this position, Stiles did trust Derek.  Even after being treated like shit the past two weeks, he would still trust him with his life.  So he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly.  Derek exhaled, and started to relax himself.  After a few minutes, Derek finally spoke again.  “Stiles.  I need you to  _ slowly  _ begin to move from under me. And walk out of here.  Don’t stop until your in your Jeep.  

 

Stiles started to protest, “Wait Derek….,” but he was cut off with a low growl.  “Ok ok,” Stiles agreed.  Slowly, Stiles bent down and slide under Derek’s arm that he was using to brace himself against the wall.  Once he was to the door of the kitchen, Stiles looked back, “Go,” Derek said, eyes still closed.  His nails were digging into the wall above him.  “Derek…,”

 

“GO!” Derek barked.

 

Stiles turned and walked as quickly as he could and didn’t stop until he was in his Jeep.  Letting out a shaky breath, he started his Jeep and began his trip home.  On his way, he passed Peter and only then remembered that he was supposed to be pigging out on Italian food.  At that moment he didn’t know if he was more confused about what happened with Derek or angry about not being feed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Thank you for all the wonderful comments! I hope you continue to enjoy. I have everything mapped out in my head, but trying to find the time to get it all out! More to come soon! <3

Derek’s nails dug deeper into the wall until he could no longer hear Stiles’ heartbeat.  Taking several breaths, his claws retracted, and he sank down to the floor, bracing his head in his hands.  When Derek entered the loft thirty minutes ago, he was struck by the smell of Stiles, his frustration, his  _ hurt,  _ and the smell of his blood.  His wolf took over and all that mattered was making sure his mate was Ok.  

 

Peter entered the kitchen, dropping the bags of takeout on the counter and assessing the situation.  Taking in the mess and the smell, he had a pretty good idea what happened.  “You have to do something, Derek.”

 

“I know Peter,” Derek bit out.

 

“Do you?” He countered.  Derek’s head whipped up, blue eyes flashing as he growled, “ _ yes”. _  Peter sighed and sat at the counter.  

 

“There’s gotta be something….I just need to think without my wolf getting in the way,” Derek said more to himself.  Looking back at Peter he asked, “The Bestiary?”  Derek noticed as Peter tensed, jaw clenched, and how he responded by shaking his head instead of speaking.  “Peter….,” Derek said sounding hopeful.

 

“Clean up this mess and make a plate.  There’s more than enough,” Peter said as he walked out of the room and up the stairs to his room.  Derek stared at the empty doorway for a few moments before getting up and grabbing the broom to sweep up the mess Stiles made.  

  
  
  


LIke every day since he’s been back, Derek found himself out at the preserve as the sun was coming up.  Peter stayed in his room all night and Derek didn’t have the energy to deal with his evasiveness.  He did look through some of the books that were on the table and what they had compiled for the Bestiary, but came up with nothing.  

 

Walking the perimeter of the Hale property and working his way back to where the house used to stand, Derek thought about just telling Stiles what was going on, but would dismiss the thought as quickly as it entered his head.  He knew he needed to do something.  Deaton was out of town, but he could reach out and see if he knew anything.  

 

Derek settled in his usual position in the center of where the living room would be, hands placed behind his head, and closed his eyes.  The breeze was warm, but pleasant and he could smell rain soon to come.  With the uptick of the wind, he caught an unfamiliar, yet, strangely familiar scent approaching.   _ Malia.   _ Derek let out a sigh and braced himself for the wraith he was sure to feel for what happened with Stiles.  But it never came.  

 

Malia laid down next to him without a word, something Laura would do, and it made his chest ache.  Noticing the shift, Malia said, “is this awkward?”

 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t.  “No,” Derek told her.  Silence fell between them before Derek finally asked, “is there something I can do for you?”  

 

“No,” she answered.  Derek sighed.  “Then why are you here?”  It may have been rude, but they weren’t friends or even acquaintances and by the smell of it she isn’t here because of what happened with Stiles.  Knowing her, she wouldn’t have had the patience to draw out the attack.  

 

“I promised Stiles I would give you a chance,” she answered.  Derek turned to face her, shocked.  Malia turned to face him as well and scrunched her face up, “what?”

 

“Why would you promise Stiles that?”

 

Malia rolled her eyes, “because he seems to think we may be good for each other and even though I really don’t like you, I promised.  So this is me, getting to know you.  If I leave here not disliking you, great.  If not, I can tell Stiles I gave it a try, but I still think you’re a dick.”

 

Derek’s eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline.  Malia’s blunt honesty was...refreshing.  She was a mixture of Cora, Laura, and a little of himself.  He saw the Hale in her so clearly it almost hurt.  All he did was nod and turn back to look up at the sky through the trees.  After a few moments, Derek asked, “how did you know I was here?”

 

“I didn’t, it was just a gut feeling.  I go back to my den sometimes--like the bed I sleep in doesn’t feel quite right and it gets too quiet.”

 

Derek thought about that.  He comes out here to remember a time when he felt truly happy.  To feel surrounded by his family and the earth--to connect.  “Yeah, me too,” he responded.  In the silence that fell, Derek thought about Stiles thinking him and Malia would be good for each other.  Both born wolf/coyote, they both possessed an animal instinct.  Derek grew up mostly embracing his human side, only recognizing his wolf on full moons.  Malia on the other hand, grew up as a coyote.  Her first instincts are based on primal needs.  Derek grew up surrounded by pack, by family, and Malia grew up alone.  If anyone knew what he was dealing with or could relate in any way, it was Malia.

 

“How did you handle the transition to human?” Derek asked.

 

Malia snorted, “you mean, how am I  _ handling  _ it?  It is definitely a work in progress.”  Derek looked back at her, waiting for her to elaborate.  

 

“Stiles,” she said.

 

“Huh?”  Derek asked confused.

 

“Stiles.  That’s how I’m handling it.  Without him I’d probably have just stayed a coyote.  He’s tried to cram twenty years of human life experiences into a three years.  Every instinct is based on the need to survive, protect, and to evolve.  I want to act first and deal with the consequences later, but Stiles has helped me control those instincts and let my brain do some thinking before just ripping into people.  I struggle every day and some days I want nothing more than to just shift and go back to my den.”

 

“So why don’t you?”

 

Malia gave him a look before responding, “because I’m not just a coyote.  I’m a human that had a late start in figuring all this out.  Because I get to be with my dad again.  I have a pack, friends, Stiles.  Are there days where I just want to be alone?  Yes.  Do I get overwhelmed easily? Totally.  But I wouldn’t go back.  Even on the days that I stay curled up in my den through the night, I know I can’t stay that way.  I don’t want to stay that way.  Every day gets a little bit easier and one day I won’t need to go back there anymore.”

 

“I’m having a hard time controlling my wolf.  Ever since Mexico,” Derek admitted.  Malia nodded, “makes sense.”  More silence fell.  It seemed to be the pattern with them and it felt familiar.  

 

“I think you and Cora would really get along,” Derek found himself saying.  

 

“Yeah? I think I’d like to meet her.”  Derek snorted at a thought and Malia turned to him, “what’s so funny?”  

 

“I was just picturing you and Cora running around here as kids.  You would have drove Laura crazy.  It would have been fantastic to watch.”  Malia smiled.  “Tell me about her?”  Derek looked at Malia for a few seconds before nodding once.  He told her stories about Laura and the things Cora would do to upset her.  Then about the moments where they weren’t fighting and just curled up in a pack pile watching movies.  Running together on the full moon and the lazy Sunday’s they spent eating too much.  It felt good to talk about her and the rest of the pack and not feel the usual suffocating weight on his chest.  Time passed as he talked about the Hale family Malia would never know and she listened, laughing occasionally.  They laid there in silence for a long time, watching the sun move farther into the sky.

 

“Derek?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I don’t dislike you anymore.”

 

Derek couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips.  “Thanks.”

 

“But I need you to be nicer to Stiles.  Because I’ll choose him every time,” Malia told him.

 

Derek let out a sigh, “I know.”

  
  
  


Derek walked into the loft several hours later feeling exhausted yet content.  He didn’t realize how much he missed feeling connected to a Hale pack member outside of Cora. He knows he never would have sought Malia out on his own and he’s guessing Malia wouldn't have either.  Leave it to Stiles to know exactly what they need; what  _ he  _ needs.  Maybe that’s what his wolf responds to.  His loyalty, his need to protect, and his intuition.  

 

Derek made his way into the kitchen to heat up some leftover pasta.  He should really start packing a lunch if he’s going to keep spending his days in the preserve.  Settling at the table, Derek pushed the notes and books aside.  There had to be something he could do to give him some breathing room from his wolf.  He sent out a quick text to Deaton to let him know he needed to talk to him when he got back.  It was only a couple of days, Derek could just camp out in the preserve until then to make run ins with Stiles non-existent.  

 

“Long day in the woods nephew?” Peter asked from is room.  Derek rolled his eyes and set down his fork.  He was not in the mood.  “I’m not talking to you through the goddamn wall Peter.  If you have something useful to share then get your ass down here.  If not, then shut the hell up,” Derek bit out.  He heard Peter’s long sigh, and then him walking to his bedroom door and making his way to the stairs.  Derek took his time cleaning up the food and washing his plate before settling on the couch across from Peter on the loveseat.  They stared at each other.  Derek waiting for whatever Peter had to say and Peter not wanting to say it.  Finally Peter spoke.  “I need to know why you won’t just tell Stiles about the mating bond.”

 

Derek rolled his eyes, “Peter, It doesn’t matter.  I’m just not.”

 

“But it does nephew.  I need to hear your reason,” Peter countered.  Derek was about to object but was cut off at the look on Peter’s face.  It was serious and almost a bit vulnerable.  A look Peter hasn’t had since before the fire.  Derek swallowed before nodding once and looking down at his hands.  “You know Stiles.  If I tell him that I recognize him as my mate he’ll know what that means.  And he’ll go along with it for the sake of making sure I don’t lose my mind, leave, or end up dead.  He would assign his life to being the best mate whether that was what he really wanted or not.  I can’t do that to him Peter.” 

 

Derek felt his eyes on him.  “What else?” Peter asked.

 

Derek let out a long breath before looking up to meet Peter’s gaze.  “I need to know that  _ I  _ choose him as my mate, not just my wolf.  I have never felt this before, this need to be with someone and out of all the people it could have been why Stiles?  How do I know that I, as Derek, want to be with Stiles?  How do I know that it’s not just my wolf’s instincts sensing something in him and checking off some mate list of good qualities?  Stiles deserves someone who chooses  _ him  _ because of who he is and so do I.  What if we do this and in a couple of months, years even, we wake up and look at each other and regret the mating bond?  What if we realize we don’t even like each other let alone love?  I think I would rather lose my mind by never having my mate then having them, be completely happy, and then lose them or realize it wasn’t real.”

 

Derek felt raw.  This is probably the most vulnerable he has ever been, especially with Peter.  He knew deep down this has always been the issue with the mating bond and Stiles.  They never really had a friendship, how were they supposed to build a life together?  And how could he trust himself when his wolf was overpowering him with  _ Stiles! Mate! Claim!? _  Peter watched Derek, and then nodded once, making a decision.

 

“After I came back from the dead,” Peter started.  Derek watched as his uncle looked uncomfortable, but determined.  “I felt as if I was missing something.  Like maybe I had just misplaced it somewhere and had to find it.  I would leave Beacon Hills on a mission, always sure I was so close, just to return to the burnt remains feeling confused.  The more I searched, the crazier I felt.  It took me months to realize I was searching for Marianna.  I had lost my mate, but I hadn’t fully processed what had happened.  The realization that she was gone shook me.  And then the impact of losing my pack, and one member at my own hands, almost drove me to kill myself.  That feeling….it was all encompassing….I have never felt anything like it and would never wish it upon anyone.”  At that, Peter held Derek’s gaze.  Before Derek could ask him what he did about it, Peter continued.  “I had heard rumors about a Druid Priestess that had found a way to make the mating bond dormant.  I sought her out and she performed the ritual.  I still feel like I’m missing something, like a little piece of myself is gone, but I don’t search for her anymore.  I don’t feel consumed by loss or grief.”

 

Derek felt a little bit of hope, “could that work?  For me?”  He asked.  Peter looked a little sad.  “I called her and she agreed to meet with you.  We can leave tomorrow morning and be to her by early evening.”  Peter replied.  Derek smiled, “Ok,” he said standing.  “Ok, we’ll leave right before the sun comes up,” he finished.  Peter nodded his agreement.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love and support! You guys are awesome! Working on Chapter 8 and will hopefully have it up soon <3

Stiles sat on his couch, leg bouncing, fingernail in his mouth, and gaze pinned somewhere on the wall.  He could see his dad sneaking glances his way, waiting for the right time to ask what was on his mind.  Finally, his dad had had enough.  “Ok kid, what’s going on?”  The sheriff asked, turning to face his son.

 

“Huh?”  Stiles asked in confusion.  His father just pinned him with  _ the look. _  Stiles removed his hand from his mouth and tried to calm his bouncing, but it only lasted a few seconds.  “I’m just thinking.”

 

“Clearly,” the sheriff responded.  At his tone, Stiles finally stopped all movement and looked over to meet his dad’s eyes.  Letting out a sigh, he leaned back against the back of the couch;  rubbing his hands over his face before responding.  “I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with Derek.  I feel like I’m missing something.”

 

“Stiles, he’s been away for almost four years.  He’s been through more than any one person should have to go through.  Let him have an adjustment period before you start poking around,” his father told him.  

 

“Dad it’s more than that.  I can feel it.  He isn’t like that with anyone else.  And he almost seems apologetic, like he can’t help himself.”  His dad looked like he wanted to interrupt, but Stiles shot up onto his feet.  “Maybe it’s a spell, or mind control, or….or….damn I need to go back to the loft.  All my research is there.”  As if on cue, Stiles’ phone vibrated with an incoming text.

 

Peter:  Derek and I are going out of town for two days.  Feel free to use the loft.

 

Stiles looked around as if expecting Peter to be close.   _ How does he do that?  _ He thought.  This is perfect.  Stiles could do some research and hopefully have an answer by the time they get back.  Feeling a little skeptical, last time he thought Derek wouldn’t be around he was pinned up against a wall by him, he texted Peter back.  

 

Stiles:  Great.  Let me know when you are close to being home and DON’T PULL ANY BULLSHIT Peter!

 

Peter’s response came back almost immediately.

 

Peter:  Of course

 

Stiles rolled his eyes and put his phone back in his pocket.  He looked up to see his dad watching him.  “What?”  

 

His dad shook his head.  “Just, be careful kid.”

 

Taking a page out of Peter’s book he replied, “of course”.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Derek leaned on his elbow as he closed his eyes and let the wind hit his face.  He was content to let Peter drive to Portland and was enjoying the breeze and time to think.  Derek was hopeful.  He wasn’t naive enough to think this could fix everything, but if he could just get some reprieve, just enough time to think clearly, it would be enough.  

 

Peter warned him that just because Adelina agreed to meet with me wasn’t a guarantee she could or would do the ritual, he didn’t care.  Even if she couldn’t, maybe she could offer some insight.  Peter began to slow down to turn left onto a road that seemed to go nowhere.  They were about three miles outside of Portland.  Derek watched as the trees became thicker and they ended up in front of a cottage styled home.  

 

Turning off the car, Peter turned to him.  “You’re sure about this?”  Derek turned to meet his uncle’s gaze.  “You’re asking me now?”  Peter just shrugged.  “Yes.  I’m sure about this,” Derek confirmed.  At that, Peter got out of the car without a word and Derek followed.  

 

As they approached the cottage, the door opened to reveal a tall, beautiful woman.  She was just a few inches shorter than Derek with long brown hair that fell in waves.  Her eyes were like liquid gold, and she looked much younger than what he had been expecting.  

 

“Peter,” she said breathily as she reached out both hands.  Peter didn’t hesitate in moving toward her.  Grabbing both hands he leaned in and kissed her cheek.  “Hello Addie,” he whispered.  Pulling back and offering her a small smile, he turned to Derek.  “This is my nephew, Derek.”

 

Adelina dropped Peter’s hands and offered them to him.  Derek paused, then moved toward her.  Instead of the kiss on the cheek, he bent down and placed a kiss on each hand.  “Thank you for seeing me,” Derek said as he straightened to his fall height again.  

 

“Peter did me a great favor.  I am happy to repay this debt,” she replied, not looking at him, but at Peter.  “I’m going to do a perimeter run.  I’ll be back in a little bit,” Peter told her.  Derek turned to his uncle, “You’re not staying?”

 

It was Adelina who spoke, “No no, this is a private matter.  I will meet with you alone and decide if I can help you with your wolf.”  Derek looked from her to his uncle.  He didn’t necessarily trust him, but there were no warning signs, no instinct or feeling that anything was wrong.  Derek nodded once to his uncle before turning toward Adelina.  “Ok,” was all he could say.  

 

Peter gave Adelina one last smile before turning toward the back of the house.  Derek followed Adelina into her home.  It was quaint and not cluttered like he expected.  It looked like any house would.  Soft, calming colors, matching furniture, and a small kitchen.  As he moved toward the back of the house, there were three doors.  One lead to her bedroom, one was her bathroom, and the larger room at the end of the hall revealed where she must do her magic and rituals.  Before they could step inside the room, Adelina closed the door and turned toward him.

 

“We aren’t going in yet.  I want to talk with you first, but I can tell you are a little uneasy and as a wolf I wanted you to see what was here.  I know about your past and I offer you no surprises,” Adelina explained.  Derek was a little taken aback.  He struggled with something to say.  Adelina must have sensed it because she just smiled softly and moved back toward the living room.  

 

They settled in sitting opposite each other, Derek on the couch and Adelina in the chair.  “Peter told me about what’s going on with you and though I respect what and why you’re wanting to suppress your wolf, you must know this is a big deal.”  Derek nodded, not able to use his words just yet.

 

Adelina smiled, “You’re probably wondering how someone so young could be performing such ancient magic.”  Derek offered her a sheepish smile, “it crossed my mind,” he told her.  Adelina laughed, “You’re not the first and you most certainly won’t be the last.  My mother was a druid priestess like me and my father was a born werewolf.”  At this admission, Derek’s eyebrows rose.  Most druids were emissaries for packs and it was forbidden for there to be mingling, especially among born wolves.  Adelina continued, “My grandmother was the emissary for my father’s pack.  My mother and father were mates.  That is the only way a union between an emissary and werewolf are accepted.  They grew up together and were officially mated when my mother turned eighteen.”  Adelina stopped to take a sip of tea Derek hadn’t even noticed was sitting there.  “I was born shortly after and I thought their love was a fairy tale.  My mother got sick when I was twelve.  Nothing worked.  No spells, rituals, herbal remedies, or even advanced medicine.  She died just after my fourteenth birthday.”  

 

Derek wanted to reach out and touch her hand, but didn’t.  She continued her story, “my father became confused after my mother died.  Like he was constantly searching for her.  He fell into a deep depression and there was nothing anyone could do to help him.  My father killed himself two months before I turned sixteen.”  This time Derek did reach out and it caused Adelina to look up and smile.  Derek gave her hand one last squeeze before leaning back on the couch.  

 

Adelina took another sip of her tea before settling back into her chair.  Folding her hands over her belly, she continued.  “I promised myself that I would find a way to help after losing your mate.  I couldn’t bare the thought of another child losing their parents like that.  I travelled the world, spoke to emissary’s, priests, leaders of the fae, anyone.  I performed my first ritual at nineteen and continued to tweak until it was close to perfect.”

 

“That sounds promising,” Derek told her.  Adelina smiled, “it’s also permanent.”  Derek swallowed at that. He had guessed it might be, but he needed to hear it from her first.  “I figured it might be,” he replied.  

 

Adelina watched him for a few moments before she said, “I will not perform the same ritual I did for Peter.”  Derek opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off when Adelina rose her hand and gave him a look that said she wasn’t finished.  “Tell me what you want, exactly.”

 

“I just want some peace from my wolf.  Any time I’m around Stiles I am overcome with this need to be near him, on him, to claim him.  I can’t think and I just want some breathing room to figure out what I want,” Derek told her.  

 

“I have two questions,” she started.  At Derek’s expectant look, she continued, “if I can do a spell that allows you to decide for yourself if you choose this Stiles as your mate, and he doesn’t choose you back, would you want the mating bond to stay or keep it repressed?”

 

“I wouldn’t want it,” Derek replied without hesitation.  Adelina nodded once.  “And if it was reversed.  If you didn’t develop feelings for your mate and did not choose him, would you want to keep the mating bond dormant?”

 

“Yes,” Derek replied.  “It’s not just about me and him.  This will affect the pack too.  If we do not choose each other I do not want to keep the mating bond.  I would leave if I had to, but I want to stay in Beacon Hills.  It’s home.”

 

Adelina searched Derek’s face before responding.  “And if I didn’t do the spell.  What would you do once you left here?”

 

“I would either leave or have to tell him and those are two choices I don’t want to have to make right now,” he replied.  

 

“As I told you, I will not do the ritual I did for Peter, but I have created another spell that could work.”  Derek leaned forward, hope evident on his face.  “This is a new spell, I’ve never done it,” Adelina explained.  “I have taken the piece of suppressing the mating bond from the druid ancient text and combined it with a fae spell.  This is tricky magic, especially when combining the two.  Your wolf’s mating bond will be dormant.  The spell will automatically lift if you both choose each other.”

 

Derek reached out and took both her hands in his, “thank you Adelina,” he said sincerely.  Adelina squeezed his hands before letting go.  “With all magic there are risks Derek.  You have to be sure this is really what you want.”

 

“I have to try, please,” Derek said.  

 

Adelina stood, “Ok, then follow me”.  Derek stood up fast and followed her down the hall.  

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ahh!” Stiles groaned in frustration, pushing the books away from him.  He has been at the loft for 24 hours, taking only a small nap on the couch before moving to the books again.  Nothing he read made any sense or explained why Derek was being a dick.  There was one possibility that Stiles dismissed.  Maybe Derek just didn’t like him and was tired of playing nice.  But that would imply that he ever played nice and Stiles refused to accept that theory.  He knew there was  _ something,  _ he just needed to figure it out.  

 

But the more he read the more confused he got and that was just pissing him off.  And the more he got pissed off by not knowing what was going on the more he got pissed at Derek.  Closing the book he was looking at, Stiles said, “fuck it”.  He didn’t need to look up the answer.  He was going to demand Derek to explain himself when he and Peter got back from their little road trip.  Standing, Stiles started to collect his things and put on his shoes.  He was done playing these little games with Derek.  

 

Stiles left feeling determined, if not sleep deprived.  Derek should be back by tonight.  He’ll just go home and get some sleep, and then first thing in the morning he is going to march back over to loft and demand answers. 


	8. Chapter 8

Derek and Peter stayed the night in Portland to make sure there weren’t any side effects of the spell.  So far, Derek feels like he did before his wolf manifested in Mexico.  The drive back to Beacon Hills was just as beautiful, but Derek felt a sense of ease.  He wouldn’t know for sure what his reaction to seeing Stiles would be.  The spell could have failed or changed something else, but Derek was still hopeful.  He could form a friendship with Stiles and see where it could go.

 

Pulling up to the loft, both Peter and Derek took in the smell of Stiles.  It was heavy with determination, frustration, anger, and exhaustion and it got stronger as they rode the elevator and got into the loft.  “Well, Stiles has been here,” Peter announced unnecessarily.  Derek snorted and noticed how he didn’t feel the pressure to seek him out.  To roll in his scent like his wolf always wanted to.  He could actually take the time to pick out each individual scent that made Stiles.  The sweetness of honey, masculine musk, and an earthy smell entwined with something he couldn’t quite place, but was so Stiles it made him smile.  He liked it.

 

Derek turned to see Peter looking at him, “what?”

 

“No desire to find your mate? To roll around on the couch and pick up his scent?” Peter asked.  Derek rolled his eyes, “No.”  Peter nodded then turned to go up the stairs to his room leaving Derek standing in front of the couch.  He stood there, staring at nothing before deciding on a shower.  He could sleep, but he didn’t want to waste the day.  Stepping out of the shower, he heard the familiar rumble of the old Jeep Stiles still drove.  Derek toweled himself off as quickly as he could and pulled on a pair of sweats.  Grabbing a shirt, he started down the stairs as Stiles was getting off the elevator.  Derek had enough time to pull the shirt over his head before the loft door was sliding open.

 

“Ok sourwolf!” Stiles yelled as he entered before stopping and seeing Derek.  He wasn’t expecting for him to be standing there and although he didn’t need to yell for him to hear him even if he wasn’t, Stiles was on an adrenaline kick and pissed.  He’s been working himself up all night for this and he was ready to go to battle.

 

“I am tired of this angrywolf bullshit Derek.  We are going to hash this out right now.  No more ignoring me, avoiding me, yelling at me, growling at me, flashing those beautiful blue werewolf eyes at me, or pinning me up against hard surfaces!”  Stiles yelled.  Derek’s eyebrows shot up at the scent change when Stiles said those last two parts, as if maybe he’d be Ok with it happening again just under different circumstances.  Derek filed that away before replying.  “You’re right.”

“Damn right I’m right!” Stiles yelled back before fumbling.  “Wait what?” He asked confused.  

 

Derek rolled his eyes, “You are right Stiles.  I’ve been an ass and I apologize,” he said.  Stiles just stared at him.  His scent changed from anger to confusion, and then to irritation.  “Seriously? I can’t even fight with you? I came here to rage with the big bad wolf and you won’t even fight with me!?”  Stiles moved to the couch and sat, crossing his arms and pouting.  Derek found it kind of adorable.  Although Stiles said he came here for a fight, Derek could smell the relief that washed over him.  Derek let him work out what he wanted to say as he relaxed.  Finally, Stiles looked up.  “You left here Mr. Hyde and came back as Dr. Jekyll, what did you do in Portland?”

 

At Derek’s confused, pinched face, Stiles laughed, “You know...Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  You come back all growly werewolf, go to Portland and come back all reasonable werewolf?”

 

Derek rolled his eyes again, something he knows he will do a lot around Stiles, and huffed out a breath.  Ignoring what he said, Derek asked, “are you hungry? We just got home and I was going to make some breakfast and coffee.”

 

Again, Stiles just stared at him.  Derek turned and walked into the kitchen knowing food would always win out.  As Derek filled the coffee pot and started it, he could practically hear Stiles’ mind at work.  He had all the ingredients to make blueberry pancakes and bacon out before Stiles finally entered the kitchen and sat down.  Derek could feel Stiles watching him, but didn’t turn or ask him what he was doing.  He knew right now Derek was a puzzle he wanted to solve so he just continued putting the bacon in the pan and set it on low.

 

Stiles let out a sigh before saying, “man, I know it’s been almost four years since you’ve been back, but we sure did have some fun times.”  Derek turned slowly to face Stiles, eyebrows raised.  “Oh yeah.  Being almost killed several times by Alpha werewolves, my uncle, both my crazy ex’s, Kanimas, and you being possessed.  Such grand adventures,” Derek replied dryly before turning back to mixing the pancake batter.  

 

“Well, there was the Miguel thing,” Stiles countered.  Derek snorted, but didn’t turn around.  “Who was that fun for exactly?”  

 

“I enjoyed it.  I know Danny appreciated it.  I mean, if it weren’t for that, you guys never would have gone out,” Stiles replied with such casualness.  Derek’s hand slipped and ended up in the batter, “What? That never happened!” Derek all but yelled.

 

“No? Huh…maybe I’m getting mixed up.  Maybe I’m thinking about when the Pack caught you at Jungle with that sexy ginger,” Stiles said.

 

“Stiles….that didn’t happen either,” Derek growled.  

 

“Not that either?” Stiles said without meeting his eyes.

 

“Stiles…,” Derek said, but Stiles refused to look at him.  “ _Stiles…,_ ” he tried again.

 

“Hmm?”  Stiles said finally looking up.  Derek rolled his eyes then pinned him with a look that said _spill it._

 

Stiles rolled his own eyes and threw up his hands in the air, “I was checking to see if you were possibly from an alternate universe!”  He said it in a way that implied _duh_ at the end.  Derek’s eyebrows moved along his forehead and Stiles continued. “Hey, it could happen! What if when you came back you were one version of yourself and then when you went to Portland, you were switched out!  Don’t you look at me like that Sourwolf! That is completely plausible!”  

 

Derek snorted, “right.  I think you watch too much TV.”

 

“Out of all the things we’ve seen you really don’t think there are alternate universes out there?  Different versions of ourselves living different lives?”

 

“This isn’t an episode of The Flash Stiles,” Derek said without turning.  Before Stiles could say anything else Derek did finally turn around to face him, spatula in his hand.  “And even if it was, that’s not what’s going on.  I’m sorry I was a dick.  That was unfair and I’m trying to make sure it doesn’t happen again.  Can’t we just start over?”  Stiles stared back at Derek for a few moments before his face softened.  “Yeah….yeah, of course we can.  I’m sorry.”

 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about Stiles,” Derek replied before flipping the pancakes over.  Silence stretched between them and it didn’t feel awkward to him, but he knew Stiles wasn’t one to stay quiet long and he could smell the uneasiness coming off of him.  “Just relax Stiles,” Derek said quietly.  Stiles let out a long breath.  “It’s just, when I ignore my gut feeling that something is off that’s when bad things happen.  I let down my guard and people die,” Stiles whispered.  

 

Derek turned to him, “Stiles,” he said, trying to get him to look up.  Once Stiles did he continued, “It was overwhelming coming back and I took it out on you.  It’s a familiar routine we had with each other.  I promise you there is no big bad monster around the corner ready to swoop in and attack once your guard is down.  We weren’t really friends before I left and we have both changed.  I would like to get to know you and hopefully form some type of friendship outside of our mutual connections to the pack or our habit of saving each other’s lives,” Derek told him.  It was the most honest he could be with him and Derek felt bad about it.  He deserved more, he deserved the truth, but one thing that hadn’t changed was Derek’s fear.  Fear of losing the people he cared about, but also fear of having something he really wanted.  

 

Stiles took his time processing everything he said before nodding.  “Yeah, I’d like that too.”  Derek couldn’t help the flip his belly did at his words.  He turned to hide the smile he knew was starting to form and plated the pancakes and bacon.

 

They settled in at the table and ate their breakfast and drank coffee.  Stiles filled the silence with talk about his senior year and starting college.  Derek wasn’t surprised to hear that he had been accepted to colleges around the country, but what did surprise him was that he stayed.

 

“Why didn’t you go?”  Derek asked.

 

Stiles shrugged.  “I thought about it, even got in a major fight with my dad.  He wanted me to go, but every time I thought about it, there was something that made me want to stay.  I wanted to be by my dad, sure, but I had started doing more with the Bestiary and research and puzzles are my favorite things.  Why do I need to go to some fancy college when I have supernatural creatures walking into my town to be discovered? Where I can get information out of an emissary and werewolf?”

 

“I just thought you would leave the first chance you got,” Derek replied.  

 

“Yeah, I did too.  I remember sitting on my bed with all the acceptance letters around me.  I was going to close my eyes and just pick one.  But every time I did I made an extensive list on why that college wouldn’t work.  Mendocino is only forty five minutes away.  I load all my classes on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s.  I go up and spend the whole day there.  I don’t need the dorm experience and it saves a lot of money to do it this way.”

 

“So what are you studying?”  Derek asked.

 

“History major with emphasis in Mythology.  They have a masters program I want to do once I graduate.  I figured I can be a professor while complying all the information we could ever need.”

 

“And that’s what you want?”  Derek found himself asking.  This wasn’t the picture he had of Stiles.  Last he knew he wanted to get out of this damn town and go into the FBI. Stiles gave him a funny look, “of course it is,” he said with so much conviction.  There was no skip to indicate a lie.  Derek nodded, “it sounds great Stiles.”

 

They ate in companionable silence until Stiles’ phone beeped with an incoming text.  He grabbed his phone before saying, “shit,” and placing the phone back in his pocket.  “Everything Ok?” Derek asked a bit concerned.  “Yeah, I just forgot I was helping my dad with an old case.  He wants me to look into a potential supernatural connection.”  Stiles answered as he gathered up his plate and walked toward the kitchen.  Derek followed and set his plate on the counter by the sink.  

 

Stiles turned to face Derek, “this was fun.  We should hangout again soon.”  

 

“Sounds good,” Derek replied feeling like he should have said more.  Stiles smiled and walked out of the kitchen and toward the door.  “See you soon then Sourwolf,” Stiles said as he slid the door open.  “Soon,” Derek whispered back knowing he wouldn’t hear him.  As he moved back to the sink to wash the dishes he thought about the past two hours and couldn’t help but wish Stiles was still there.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to get a chapter up! Real life likes to get in the way! Here are two chapters for you and am hoping to have more for you by the end of the day! Thanks for all the comments, kudos, and support! <3

Stiles stared at the case file without absorbing any of the information.  His mind was replaying his unexpected morning with Derek.  Not counting the complete attitude whiplash, which, Stiles will be secretly trying to figure out, the fact that he genuinely had a good time with Derek was a lot to process.  Sure, he liked the guy, missed him even, and genuinely wanted to see Derek happy, but until this morning, Stiles hadn’t entertained the idea that maybe he could be a part of it, like, maybe even the reason for it.  Stiles knows he has always found Derek attractive, that fact is just obvious, but outside of that, he doesn’t really  _ know  _ him, and he never thought he would get the chance.  

 

Derek likes to act like the strong, silent type--a shell of who he used to be before the fire, according to Cora.  He used to be outgoing, cocky, confident, and a little mischievous.  Derek tries to exude the cocky confidence, that shield that no one dares poke at, the one he wears to protect himself.  And Stiles gets it.  Derek’s growly, tough persona is the same as Stiles’ sarcasm.  It keeps people at arm's length and lets them feel some type of control in their crazy lives.  But Stiles can see through some of it.  He sees how Derek  stands close enough to Scott and Malia, hoping to pick up some of their scent.  Stiles notices how Derek pretends to be annoyed when Kira pulls him in for a hug, but holds her a little tighter and longer than someone who didn’t crave the connection.  He watches as he stares out the window, lost in thought or memories and silently wishes for comfort.  That has all been in the last two weeks.  And this morning, Stiles got to experience Derek in a new way.  Almost domestic, cooking for him, sharing a meal, and allowing Stiles to  dominate the conversation, and not even seeming annoyed by it.  

 

If Stiles was being honest, he craved that kind of connection too.  Him and Scott will always be brothers, but he sees how their bond has shifted.  He is the Alpha and is actually taking it seriously.  Liam and Hayden look to him for guidance, even Corey now.  And now that Kira is back, his quality time with Scott has gotten cut even shorter.  If Derek and Stiles could form a friendship and Derek actually decides to stay, Stiles wouldn’t mind it one bit.

 

“Stiles,” a voice came from his bedroom door.  Stiles yelped and nearly fell out of his chair.  Turning toward the sound, Stiles noticed his dad who was trying to hold in a laugh.

 

“Dad!  Are you trying to kill me?”  Stiles yelled, clutching his hand to his heart.  His dad chuckled, “I’ve been standing here watching you stare at the same page for three minutes now.”

“‘Cause that’s not creepy at all,” Stiles mumbled as he closed the file and got up to stretch.  “What’s up?” he asked.

 

“Was going to barbecue some burgers.  Can you run to the store for some things while I get the grill ready?”  The sheriff asked.  

 

“Sure, salad and veggies.  Maybe lettuce instead of buns?”  Stiles replied searching for his shoes.  

 

His dad actually growled a little, “no.  Get some corn and I’ll throw them on the grill.  I want beans and pasta salad.  And buns...the potato ones.”

 

“Dad, that’s not gonna happen,” Stiles replied.  That earned him a glare.  Pointing a finger at his son the sheriff said, “I am partly responsible for bringing you into this world.  Don’t make me take you out.”

 

Stiles rolled his eyes at the empty threat, but relented.  “Ok, one night won’t hurt.  But I”ll be making your lunch for tomorrow.”  This time it was the sheriff’s turn to roll his eyes, but without any further comment he handed Stiles a twenty and turned down the hall and made his way down the stairs.  

 

Grabbing his keys, Stiles walked down the stairs toward the front door.  “Ok dad, I’ll be back in twenty,” he announced, swinging the door open and almost catching a fist to his nose.  “Derek!” he squeaked, pulling his head back.  Pulling his arm back down, Derek mumbled his apologies.  “What are you doing here?” Stiles asked once he regained his composer.  The sheriff came to the door before he could respond.

 

“Derek, it’s good to see you,” the sheriff said as he reached his hand out to shake Derek’s.  “You too, sir,” Derek replied, returning the firm handshake.  Stiles was still waiting for Derek to answer his question as the two Stilinski’s stared at him.  

 

Derek put his hands in his pockets before leaning back on his heels and answering.  “Oh, right.  I was out in the preserve and was heading home.”  As if that explained how he ended up at Stiles’.  Stiles was about to say that when his dad interrupted him.  “Well, your timing is perfect.  I was just about to start up the grill.  Come on in and keep me company while Stiles runs to the store.” At Derek’s shocked face, Stiles said, “No, he can just come with me.”  

 

Stiles started to walk out when his dad placed a hand on his arm, “He doesn’t need to run errands.  How about it Derek? Up for a beer with the sheriff?”  Derek looked between the sheriff and Stiles before stepping forward.  “Sounds great, thank you.”

 

Stiles let out a breath, “traitor,” he whispered knowing Derek could hear.  “Hey, he’s the one with the gun,” Derek answered.

“Yeah, well I’m magical,” Stiles answered wiggling his fingers in front of Derek’s face.  Derek rolled his eyes while the sheriff said, “you are not,” with an exasperated chuckle.  

 

“Hey! I could be!” Stiles shouted.  Derek leaned forward, tilting his head to the side and inhaling deeply, inches from Stiles’ neck.  Stiles froze, trying to stop his body from betraying him and announcing just how that made him react.  

 

Pulling back, Derek said, “you could be.  There’s a scent I can’t quite place...it could be your spark.”  Stiles just stared at him.  “But gun wins,” Derek finished, effectively snapping Stiles out of his temporary stillness.  

 

“Hey! Werewolf edicate is you can’t just go around sniffing people!” Stiles half-heartedly yelled.  “But since we’re talking about it, what exactly do I smell like?”  Derek smirked, but before he could answer the sheriff interrupted.

 

“Ok Stiles.  Go get the groceries,” the sheriff said, pushing Stiles further out the door.  His objection was cut off by the door closing in his face.  Turning, he didn’t waste any time getting into his Jeep.  Stiles didn’t know why he was nervous about his dad and Derek being alone together, but it had him on edge.

  
  


Stiles cut the trip down to fifteen minutes and walked into the house to the sound of his dad and Derek’s laughter.  Placing the items in the kitchen, Stiles put the pasta salad in the fridge and grabbed the can opener for the beans.  As he worked to finish the sides and set the table, he listened to his father and Derek talk about where he had been for the past three and half years.  He couldn’t catch a lot of the conversation through the open window, but it flowed easily.  

 

The sheriff came in to grab the corn and soon after, the two men were walking in with a plate full of hamburgers, corn, and a beer in each hand.  “Everything’s ready,” Stiles told them as he set the last condiment on the counter.  The men made their plates and then settled at the table.  Eating in companionable silence for a few minutes, the sheriff spoke, “So Derek, given any thought to what you will do if you stay?”

 

Stiles didn’t like that his father used the word “if” and frowned waiting for Derek to answer.  He felt Derek glance his way before swallowing the sip of beer he was taking and answering his dad.  “Honestly? No sir, I haven’t.”

 

“Call me John,” the sheriff said.  “And is it because you don’t know if you’re staying or because you just haven’t thought about it?”

 

Derek looked at Stiles again, “both.”  Stiles took a big bite of his burger and ignored Derek’s gaze.  Derek’s gaze shifted to his plate, but he could feel his dad looking at him now.  The sheriff cleared his throat before responding.  “Well, if you do decide to stay, come talk to me down at the station.  I would love to have someone like you on the force.”  Both Derek and Stiles’ head whipped up to gape at the sheriff who was taking a bite of his burger, looking smug. 

 

“Oh great dad! As if Derek isn’t unfair enough, let’s add a uniform!” Stiles blurted out.  Derek and the sheriff looked at Stiles, eyebrows raised.  Stiles realized he had said that out loud and tried to hide the blush that was creeping up his neck and to his cheeks.  Stiles tried to melt into his chair and refused to acknowledge them or his outburst.  Derek turned toward the sheriff, “that’s….wow….thank you sh..John,” Derek stumbled through.  Derek looked dazed as he waited for John to finish his bite.

 

“You would be a great asset to the team.  I would love to have more supernatural officers to help with those cases.  Right now it’s just me and Parrish…..and Stiles,” John finished at Stiles’ look.

 

“I’m..umm….that’s a great offer.  I will definitely keep it in mind,” Derek replied. 

 

They continued to eat in silence.  Stiles, still mortified over his outburst, finished first, got up without a word, and started cleaning the kitchen.  A few minutes later, Derek followed him, “need some help?” he asked.  

 

Stiles placed the last of the items in the fridge and turned to him.  He was going to tell him no, but found himself saying, “sure..you can dry.”  Derek nodded and followed him to the sink.  Stiles washed the dishes and handed them over to Derek wordlessly.  After a few minutes of this, Stiles finally spoke.  

 

“You know, you never did tell me why you came by tonight.” Derek continued to dry the plate that was in his hand even though it was dry.  Stiles waited, not daring to push.  Derek put the plate down and grabbed the next dish before letting out a long breath.  “I was in the preserve all day and I didn’t feel like going back to the loft,” Derek finally answered.

 

“So you came to my house,” Stiles said and Derek just shrugged.  Stiles handed Derek the last dish and said, “Ok.”

 

Derek nodded, “Ok,” he said back.  Nothing else was said as they left the kitchen and walked into the living room where his dad was.  

 

“I really appreciate you having me over for dinner, sir,” Derek said as he grabbed his jacket and started to put it on.  

 

“You’re welcome any time Derek.  Don’t want to stay and watch the rest of the game?” The sheriff responded.  

 

“Maybe next time, sir.  I should probably get home and shower after being out all day.”  The sheriff got up and shook his hand. “I mean it Derek, don’t be a stranger. And if you make a decision about staying, come see me.”

 

Derek nodded, “promise.”

 

Stiles walked Derek to the door, “well, I’ll be by the loft tomorrow to do some work on the Bestiary, so I’m sure I’ll be seeing ya,” Stiles said as Derek turned around from stepping outside.  He felt awkward and didn’t know why.  

 

“Right.  I appreciate the dinner invite.  I’ll see you around,” Derek replied putting his hands in his pockets and turning to leave.  Stiles watched for a few seconds as he walked to his car.  Shutting the door, he walked back into the living room and plopped down on the couch.  

 

Stiles didn’t really know what the hell he was feeling.  Initially, he was happy to have him here.  Of course he was.  And hearing him have such an easy conversation with his dad was….weird.  Ok, it was weird, but in a good way? Ehh...and then the mention of him not knowing whether he was staying or not had him feeling….anxious? Hopeful? Scared? All of the sudden Derek’s declaration of wanting to become friends feels complicated.  Why did he come here?  He could have gone to see Scott or…..well.  Or come here.  Derek’s pretty much lost everyone.  He has Peter, Scott, and Stiles.  They’re familiar and if he didn’t want to go back to the loft of course he ended up here.  It was a fifty-fifty chance.  

 

Stiles rubbed his hands down his face, his brain hurt.  Looking up, his dad was staring at him.  “What?”  Stiles asked.

 

“You alright over there?” His dad asked.  

 

Stiles let out a long breath, “am I ever?”  At that, his dad’s face softened, “talk to me kid.”

 

“I’m just….I’m confused and I don’t like it,” Stiles said.

 

“Ok….what’s confusing?” His dad asked.

 

“Derek.”

 

“Well, I gathered that.  Is this still about him being a dick? Because after tonight, I’m not sure I see it….or is it something else?”

 

Stiles scrunched up his nose, “like what?”

 

“Like, maybe you  _ like  _ him,” the sheriff answered.  Stiles just blinked at him.  After a few moments of processing, Stiles finally said, “he’s been back for two weeks and in that two weeks he’s not been a dick for like, two days.  When did I get the chance to start to  _ like  _ him?”

 

His dad shrugged, “maybe it started before he left.”  Again, Stiles blinked at his dad as if it would help him understand what he was saying.  He let out a frustrated groan and threw himself on the couch, putting his arm over his eyes.

 

“Thanks dad.  You really helped things be less confusing.”  Stiles heard his dad let out a long sigh before standing up and turning off the game.  “Sorry kid, just something to think about,” he told him, squeezing his shoulder as he left the living room and started walking up the stairs.  

 

Stiles laid there trying to get a handle on his thoughts.  He drifted off to sleep before having any success.


	10. Chapter 10

Derek heard Peter sigh from the other room and disconnect the phone call.  “That’s the second day Stiles has cancelled coming over,” Peter told him.  

 

“I know Peter,” Derek responded.  

 

Derek had spent the other day in the preserve after having breakfast with Stiles and couldn’t stop thinking about him.  He replayed their conversation, the easiness of it, how he could have listened to anything he had to say--and he just didn’t understand it.  Before, he couldn’t stand the kid.  Stiles was bottled up energy full of sarcasm and no self-preservation skills.  But he was also loyal, funny--in a stupid kind of way, kind, and incredibly clever.  And now that Derek is trying to be honest with himself, he finds Stiles incredibly attractive.  He has filled out since high school, no longer the gangly teen, but tall, lean, and muscular.  His hair has grown out and he no longer has the baby face, but now it is more defined.  The splattering of moles create patterns that Derek wouldn’t mind exploring and he’s becoming obsessed with his hands.  

 

But attraction is one thing.  Truly liking someone and wanting to build a life with them is a whole other complication.  Especially when Derek can’t seem to act like an inexperienced teenager.  He feels so much pressure to make sure he is doing this right that he can’t just  _ be.   _ And he’s pretty sure he did something wrong the other night or Stiles would be here working on the Bestiary.  

 

“You’re brooding again,” Peter said as he walked into the living room.

 

“Am not,” Derek answered unconvincingly.  Peter let out a long breath before responding.  “What did you do this time?”

 

“Why is this my fault?” Derek asked.

 

“Because you came home smelling like Stiles and then all of the sudden he isn’t here.  The first day he said he was with Scott--that was lie.  Then today he said he was helping his dad--half truth.  And he has never cancelled on me before you came home, so….you’re fault,”  Peter answered.  

 

“I don’t know.  I went over the other night, had dinner, and left.  He seemed fine,” Derek told him trying to hide the lie in the last part.  Derek could smell Stiles’ unease and confusion when he left.  He knew by not giving him a straight answer about why he was there would send Stiles into his thinking mode, but he didn’t know what to say.  He couldn’t tell him that he spent all day thinking about him.  That when he thought about coming back to the loft to eat dinner alone or only have Peter as company he felt his stomach tighten.  That when he got into the car he hadn’t even realized he was at Stiles’ house until he was walking up the driveway to knock on his door.  

 

“You are making this so hard nephew,” Peter said after a few moments of silence.  

 

“It’s complicated.”

 

“But it’s not.  Or at least it doesn’t have to be,” Peter countered.  

 

“Damn it Peter, I’ve already told you how I feel,” Derek bit out.

 

Unphased, Peter said, “yes, you have.  And it is complete bullshit.  You know the mating bond doesn’t just manifest out of nowhere.  There had to be something you already responded to from Stilles, but once your wolf appeared it was harder to ignore.”

 

Rubbing his face a few times Derek said, “I don’t know what to do Peter.  It’s like every decision I make regarding him is some big declaration.  There is a lot riding on this.”

 

“Derek…,” Peter said waiting for Derek to look up at him.  “If Stiles was just someone on the street you wanted to get to know, what would you do?”

 

“But he’s not…,” Derek started, but was cut off by Peter.  “Indulge me nephew.  What would you do?”

 

“I would want to get to know him and see where it lead.  Ask him out if that’s what I wanted,” Derek answered.  

 

“So just do that.  Stiles is just some guy you want to get to know.  You decide if you want more or not.  Quit thinking of this as some end all situation.  Allow yourself to just do what you feel.  If you want to see him, go see him.  If you want to ask him out, ask him out.  If you just want to be friends, then set that boundary and stick to it.  Just do something other than what you’re doing,” Peter told him.  

 

Peter made it sound so simple and maybe it was.  “You’re right.  Ehh...that hurt saying it,”  Derek said and made a face at his uncle.  These moments felt so much like before the fire it made him miss his family.  His mom would have known what to do.  Silence fell as the minutes passed by. 

 

“I miss her too,” Peter whispered.  Derek nodded in agreement.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Derek went out to the preserve before the sunrise the next morning.  Stiles said he would come by in the morning to work on the Bestiary, so Derek decided to give him some more space.  He ran the perimeter, and then settled at the edge of the forest to watch the sunrise.  The sky transformed from navy blue, to light blue with streaks of yellow, orange, and pink.  He missed this--the feeling of being surrounded by Hale property, the open space, the contentment of being  _ home.   _ No matter what happens with Stiles, Derek decided he wants to stay.  He wants to build a life here again, and he wants to start by rebuilding the Hale house.  

 

Making his way back to the old property, Derek looked around accessing the area, deciding where he would put what.  He would talk to Peter for his input, but ultimately, the land belonged to Cora and Derek.  Cora would be happy and could come home too once it was built.  Laying down in the center of the old house, Derek made plans in his head and thought about the sheriff’s offer.  He wasn’t the Alpha and didn’t need to be.  He could have a pack and help protect his town both officially and unofficially.  

 

Hours passed as Derek made checklists in his head when he caught a familiar scent.   _ Stiles.   _   Sitting up, Derek watched Stiles walk toward him with a bag in one hand and bottles of water in the other.  

 

“Hi,”  Derek said.

 

Stiles smiled, “Hi.  Hope you don’t mind, but Peter was being more Peter than usual and I had to get out of there.  Thought you may be hungry.” 

 

Derek got up and took the water from him before sitting back down.  Stiles sat beside him and started taking sandwiches out.  “Thanks,” Derek told him.  They ate in silence for awhile before Stiles spoke first.  “Sorry I’ve been MIA these past few days, just had some things going on.”

 

Derek didn’t detect a lie, but knew there was more to it.  Thinking about what Peter said, he let it go.  “No problem, I get it.”  Stiles looked at Derek for a moment, “so, friends?”  He asked.

 

Derek rolled his eyes, “of course.”  Something settled in Stiles at that and they finished their lunch with no more words.  After Derek was finished, he put his trash in the empty bag and laid back down.  Soon after, Stiles did the same.

 

“So this is what you do every day?” Stiles asked.

 

Derek huffed, “Pretty much.  I run the perimeter a lot too, but usually settle here for awhile each time.”

 

“Just pondering life,” Stiles mused.

 

Derek chuckled, “something like that.”

 

Silence fell between them again as they watched the clouds move in the sky.  Stiles turned on his side and looked at Derek.  After a few seconds, Derek turned his head to meet his gaze, eyebrows raised in question.  “Let’s play twenty questions to get to know each other, this silence is killing me.”

 

Derek smirked, “Ok, you can go first,” he told him and turned his head back to look at the sky.  Stiles did the same before asking, “favorite color?”

 

“Deep,” Derek deadpanned.

 

“Hey! I figured I’d start easy, but I can go deep if you want,” Stiles protested.

 

Derek choked on his word, “Blue,” he coughed out.  Realizing what he had said, Stiles blushed.

 

“Uhh...favorite food?”  He asked.

 

“Raviolis.”

 

“Baseball team?”

 

“Dodgers.”

 

“Eww...maybe we can’t be friends,” Stiles answered.  

 

Derek rolled his eyes waiting for the next question.  Stiles, in rapid-fire style, shot out question after question,, offering his opinion on some of them.  Finally, he asked, “your biggest regret about leaving?”

 

“My camaro,” Derek answered without hesitation.  Both of them got quiet before Stiles erupted in a fit of laughter, rolling from side to side, making Derek blush.

 

“Oh my god, that’s just...so freaking perfect!” Stiles said through laughing fits, tears starting to run down his face.  Derek’s blush turned to exasperation.  “I don’t understand how that’s so funny.”

 

“Because…..because it’s just so  _ you!”   _ Stiles answered, trying and failing to contain himself.  Derek pushed him, making him roll away a few feet, which just made Stiles laugh more.  

 

“Ok...ok….I’m done,”  Stiles said rolling back to be next to Derek.  Looking at Derek’s face he instantly sobered.  “Oh shit Derek, I’m sorry.  I wasn’t laughing at you I promise.”

 

“I’m fine,” Derek all but growled.  

 

“Oh sourwolf, I’m sorry.  Really,” Stiles said reaching out and touching Derek’s arm, he instantly relaxed.  After a few minutes, Stiles removed his hand and asked, “what happened to it?”

 

Derek let out a breath, “I took it to a shop in the next town over.  It needed some work and I figured they could fix it while I was gone.  The Toyota was more sensible for looking for the Desert Wolf and after I hadn’t really thought about going back to get it.”

 

“Well, clearly when you don’t overthink everything, you miss it, so maybe you should go get it,” Stiles told him earning a huff from Derek.

 

Before Derek could think better of it, he told Stiles, “I’m going to rebuild the house.”

 

Stiles turned his head to look at Derek and smiled, but didn’t say anything until Derek looked back at him.  “So that’s what you’ve been out here agonizing over.”

 

Derek rolled his eyes and turned his head back to look at the clouds.  “Seriously Derek, I think that’s awesome.”  When Derek didn’t answer, Stiles went on.  “God, how exhausting for you.  You have probably been out here every day, laying in this very spot trying to figure out what to do.  Will it be respectful or disrespect? Should it be the same or different? Maybe a mixture? Where should it be built? In the same spot or somewhere else?  Do I deserve it?  What will happen if I do rebuild? Who will live there?....,” Stiles trailed off and turned his head to see Derek staring at him.

 

“Oh, sorry…,” Stiles trailed off again.

 

“How do you do that?”  Derek asked.

 

Stiles scrunched up his nose, “do what?”

 

“ _ Know, _ ” he answered so seriously it made Stiles swallow.  They stared at each other for what seemed like hours before Stiles asked, “tell me what you plan to do.”  Derek stared back for a second before getting up and holding out his hand for Stiles to join him.  Stiles took it, dropping it as soon as he was on his feet and brushed the dirt and grass from his ass.  

 

“You were right,” Derek started.  “I don’t want to build the house where the old one stood.  I was thinking of making this a garden,” he continued, arms sweeping the outline of where the old house used to stand.  “I want to put life back where it once was, where it had been taken.  My mother loved forget-me-nots, Laura’s favorite was the Calla Lily, and my dad would randomly bring my mom roses--all colors.  Michael, my baby brother, was fascinated with foxtails, and Mariana loved tulips.  They could each have their own section,” Derek turned to look at Stiles, his eyes a bit watery.

 

“I think that’s really beautiful,” Stiles said.  Derek offered him a shy smile.  It felt good to voice his vision to someone, especially Stiles.  Derek found himself wanting to tell him everything.  Turning toward the left, Derek began again.  “There would be a path leading to the house.  I would build it here.”  Derek told Stiles that he wanted some things to be similar, but wanted it to feel new, like a fresh start.  It would be bigger too, to accommodate the pack.  Stiles listened, enraptured by Derek’s enthusiasm, offering his opinion here and there.  

 

“And I’ll make the walls soundproof,” Derek told Stiles.  Stiles’ eyebrows shot up as his eyes widened.  “Uh...Peter likes to talk through walls.  It’s annoying.”

 

“Wait.  Are you telling me you guys have your own built in walkie talkie system?”  Stiles asked.  

 

“Uh...I guess?”

 

Stiles threw up his hands, “how freaking  _ awesome! _  It’s revelations like this that make me wish I would have taken the bite.”  It was Derek’s turn to raise his eyebrows.  “You know we have super hearing.”

 

“Yeah, but ‘built-in walkie talkie system’ sounds cooler,” Stiles answered in a  _ duh _ voice.  Derek rolled his eyes, but smiled.  He’s been a wolf his whole life so he never really thinks about his abilities the way Stiles might.  It amazes him how he can always find the smallest things so intriguing.  

 

“What?” Stiles asked.  Derek didn’t realize he was staring.  “Nothing….just, thank you.”

 

“For what?”  

 

“For listening...for making it Ok to want this,” Derek answered, surprising himself at his honesty.  

 

Stiles’ face softened.  “Derek.  It  _ is  _ Ok that you want this. You deserve to move on and be happy.  Rebuilding the house, the garden, giving the pack a place of their own….that’s how you honor your family.  That’s how you don’t let all the assholes win.”

 

Before Derek could question it or think about what he was doing, he was pulling Stiles into a hug and burrowing his nose in his neck.  Stiles squeaked at the sudden embrace, but wrapped his arms around Derek as soon as he’s shock dissolved.  They stood there, wrapped up in each other as the clouds passed through the sky.  Neither of them saying a word, neither of them needing to.


	11. Chapter 11

It’s been a week since that day in the preserve and Stiles has found himself with Derek every day.  Most days, they worked on the Bestiary together, allowing Peter to get out of it.  Derek told him about his time in Chicago and the midwest, floating from pack to pack.  The Hale name was known throughout the country and his bound with the pack back in Beacon Hills allowed him to stay as a guest, not posing a threat.  They didn’t talk about the hug that happened, but it seemed to open an unwritten agreement that touches were Ok.  They found themselves sitting closer on the couch as they watched movies after researching all day, playfully pushing each other, or hugging when parting ways without hesitation.

 

Stiles had taken those two days after the dinner with his dad to process everything.  Looking back, he now recognizes that maybe his feelings were starting to shift toward more than a casual friendship for Derek.  And now, with each day, his feelings were pretty damn clear.  He liked him.  Like, really,  _ really  _ liked him.  But that boundary hasn’t been crossed and he was trying to take his cues from Derek.  

 

“What do you think?”  Derek asked from beside him, effectively getting him out of his train of thought.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Stiles responded a little dazed at finding Derek so close.  His eyes flicked to his lips before staring up at his hazel eyes.  Derek blinked and pulled back a little.  

 

“Umm….I asked if we should put Succubus under Incubus or just a footnote to refer to it,” Derek asked again.  

 

“Oh, right...I say footnote,” Stiles answered.  Derek nodded and moved back to writing in the Bestiary.  

 

The pack meeting would start soon.  The full moon was in three days and they always met to talk about what to do and where they would meet.  It was usually the preserve, but with Derek back it was only right to ask for his permission.  Standing up, Stiles stretched before saying, “I’m going to go check on the lasagna before people start showing up.”  

 

Stiles busied himself with taking down plates and cups.  Putting out the parmesan cheese and getting out everything to make the salad.  After putting the salad in the bowl, Stiles turned to place it on the counter, running into a broad chest.  The bowl slipped from his fingers, “shit,” Stiles groaned, but Derek grabbed it and put it on the counter before it could reach the floor.  

 

“Sorry,” Derek said from only inches away.  They were almost the same height and it would only take the smallest movement to lock his lips with Derek’s.  Stiles swallowed, realizing he was staring at his lips again and looked up.  Derek’s eyes were blown and his breathing shallow.  “Good save,” Stiles whispered.  They stared at each other, neither of them moving forward or backward.  Suddenly, Derek’s face smoothed out as he said, “Scott’s here,” and he took a step back.  Stiles wasn’t sure if he was glad or mad for it.  A minute later, Scott was walking through the front door with Kira.

 

Derek met them at the door while Stiles composed himself.  After a few calming breaths, he took out the lasagna just as Scott came into the kitchen.  “Aww….you made my favorite!”  Scott exclaimed, pulling him in for a hug.  He didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s only because he didn’t have time to run to the store to get raviolis.

 

Scott helped Stiles set up the rest of the food as the bread cooked in the oven.  By the time it was done, everyone was here except Malia.  “She’s always late,” Liam complained again.  He was ready to eat, but he wanted to wait for her.  “She’ll be here.  You’re poor little werewolf stomach can wait five more minutes,” Stiles told him.  Liam growled half-heartedly.  

 

Two minutes later, Malia was walking through the door.  “Finally!” Liam yelled as he pushed his way off the couch.  Malia rolled her eyes, “you’re such a child,” she told him.  

 

“Says the girl wearing a care bear shirt,”  Derek said as he moved closer to her.  

 

“Aww, you like it?  It made me think of you,” she said pointing to Grumpy Bear frowning, arms crossed against her blue shirt.  

 

“Dork,” he said, ruffling her hair.  She pushed him harder than she would have anyone else, but he barely budged.  “You smell funny,” she said after her second attempt to move his hand.  

 

Derek rolled his eyes, but smiled.  The pair turned to see everyone watching them.  “What?” they asked at the same time.

 

Stiles waved his hand between them, “when did this happen?”  And everyone nodded in agreement waiting for them to respond.  

 

“It’s your fault,” Derek answered.  

 

“Yeah,” Malia added.  

Stiles rubbed his hand over his face, “of course it is,” he mumbled.  Food became more interesting as the pack moved into the kitchen to make a plate.  Derek huffed and walked in after them.  

 

“Why so glum? You told me to give him a chance.  He’s not so bad after all,” Malia told Stiles, slinging her arm around him and pulling him toward the kitchen.  

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Stiles all but pouted.  It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy about them getting along, he just wished he would have known about it. 

 

“You told me to form my own opinion.  I’ve been hanging out with him out at the preserve some nights,” she shrugged.

 

“Nights?” Stiles questioned with a pout.

 

“Yes, nights.  You know I don’t always sleep.  On my way to my den I caught his scent and we hung out…..stop it.”

 

Stiles continued to pout.  He wondered why Malia hadn’t been by.  She usually ends up there once a week, but he hadn’t seen her since the last time.  Malia pulled him in for a hug.  “This is a good thing Stiles.  I can’t always rely on you.”

 

He knew she was right.  They had talked about finding other outlets besides him and if it was going to be anyone, he was glad it was Derek.  But he couldn’t help feeling a little replaced.  Malia must have sensed it because she pulled back to look at him.  “Stop.  I already told him I’d choose you.  Every.  Time.”

 

Stiles blinked up at her and smiled.  Derek snorted from the table and turning, Stiles realized he was eavesdropping.  “Rude,” he told him.  Derek just shook his head and mouthed something.  

 

“He said you’re ridiculous and to go make a plate,” Malia interrupted.  Stiles rolled his eyes muttering, “damn walkie talkie powers,” causing Derek to all out laugh and Stiles did what he was told.  

 

He sat between Derek and Malia, talking to them both equally as well as getting in an argument with Liam across the table.  He was like an annoying little brother that had to be put in his place.  The mood was happy, even Peter joined them.  Glancing over at Derek, Stiles noticed how relaxed he looked.  How genuine his laugh and smile were.  Sensing his gaze, Derek turned to Stiles and his smile widened causing Stiles’ stomach to produce butterflies.  

 

After everyone cleaned up their mess they settled on the couch, but Stiles opted to stand by Peter against the wall.  Scott stood up to start talking about the full moon.  “Ok, so as we all know the full moon is in three days.  Derek, we usually go out to the preserve, but we want to make sure that’s still Ok.”  Everyone turned to look at Derek who stood up too.  “Of course.  The pack is always welcome on the preserve.  I actually wanted to talk to you all about that.”  Derek looked up at Stiles and then Peter, before turning to Scott.  “I’m going to rebuild my old house and would like it to be for the pack as well.”

 

Scott’s eyebrows shot up before he turned to look at Stiles.  Stiles was smiling which caused Scott to smile too.  Turning back to Derek, Scott pulled him in for an unexpected hug.  “That’s awesome Derek.  Thank you.”  As the pack got up to offer similar thanks, Peter leaned to the side to get closer to Stiles.  “You did that you know.”

 

Startled, Stiles jumped slightly.  He didn’t take his eyes off Derek as he looked embarrassed at all the attention.  “What are you talking about?”

 

Peter sighed, “I knew he was going to do this eventually, but it wasn’t until he told you that he really made the decision.  He came back and told me that night.  So thank you.”  Stiles turned to face Peter at that, eyes wide and confused.  Peter rolled his eyes, “for someone so smart you really are an idiot.” 

 

Before Stiles could say something snarky, Peter smiled and said, “oh nothing nephew.  Just having a chat with our favorite human.”  Stiles rolled his eyes and turned to see Derek watching them.  “Ok, now you’re just being an ass,” Stiles told him which just made Derek smirk.  Malia took the opportunity to pounce on Derek and demand she get first pick of the rooms.

 

The pack stayed a few more hours, cuddled up on the couch watching a movie.  Stiles stole glances at Corey and Mason, feeling a bit jealous of their PDA.  Stiles ended up at the end of the couch, Malia by his side, and Derek by her.  As much as he loved the pack, he would have rather been curled up with Derek.  One by one, the couples left, but Scott stayed behind.  “Hey Malia, can you give Kira a ride home? I was hoping to talk to Derek before I left,” he asked.  

 

“Sure,” Malia said standing to grab her coat.  Scott looked at Stiles, giving him a look.  Rolling his eyes, Stiles got up too, causing Derek to follow him.  “Guess I’ll be going too,” Stiles announced sarcastically.  Peter made his way up the stairs without a word as Stiles started to follow the girls out.  Before he could leave, Derek was behind him.

 

“Hey,” Derek said in a whisper, a little too close.  Stiles turned, almost knocking their heads.  “Hey, Stiles said back.  Derek looked a little nervous, looked down at Stiles’ lips and then back up.  “Have a good night Stiles,” he ended up saying before pulling him in for a hug.  Stiles melted into him and closed his eyes.  When he opened them, Scott was looking at him dumbfounded.  Stiles cleared his throat before pulling away.  “You too Derek.”  They stared at each other for a few seconds more before Stiles finally took two more steps and turned to go toward the elevator.  

 

As the doors closed behind him, he closed his eyes and relished the lingering feeling of Derek’s arms wrapped around him.  


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys! We are in the home stretch. There will probably only be about two more chapters plus a bonus! Thank you, Thank you for all the love and support. You guys are amazing!! <3

Derek closed the door and turned to find Scott wide-eyed.  “What?”  He asked.

 

Scott opened his mouth then closed it.  Opened it again, then sighed.  “I was hoping to talk to you.”

 

Derek laughed, “I know.  What’s going on?”

 

Scott ran his hand through his hair, “are you really staying?”  Derek blinked a few times, “yes,” he finally answered.  Scott’s body deflated.  “Ok, ok, good.”

 

“Scott, what’s going on?” Derek asked again, feeling a bit nervous.

 

“I got accepted into UC Davis for their pre-veterinary program.  It will set me up for the master’s program after I graduate,” Scott blurted out.  

 

“Scott that’s great…,”  Derek told him a bit confused.  

 

“Derek...I wasn’t going to take it.  But now, you’re back, so maybe I can?”  He said it as a question and Derek was having a hard time keeping up.  “Scott, you aren’t making any sense.”

 

“Ahh…,” Scott groaned and sat down on the couch.  Head in his hands, he tried to collect himself.  Looking back up to meet Derek’s expectant gaze, he tried again.  “I’m the Alpha Derek.  Even if I wanted to go, if I were to leave it could end badly.  Supernatural creatures have been almost non-existent for the past year.  If I left, who would be here?  Liam, Hayden, and Corey are still learning control and are young.  Malia is still  _ learning  _ how to be human, and  Stiles, as much as he could totally hold shit down,  _ is _ human, and Peter….well…..I don’t fully trust him.  But now you’re back….,” Scott trailed off looking hopeful.

 

“Scott, I’m not an Alpha anymore,” Derek responded.

 

“You don’t have to be Derek,” Scott said standing up.  “I can leave you in charge and have you work with the neighboring Alpha.”

 

“Scott, you remember what happened last time…,” Derek tried to protest.

 

“Oh come on Derek.  You were young, had just lost your family and sister.  No one expected you to hone in a power you had no intention of having.  Did you make some bad choices, yes.  But you aren’t that guy anymore.  I trust you Derek, the pack trusts you, and even if they didn’t, Stiles trusts you and that’s enough for me,” Scott pleaded.

 

“You’ve talked to the pack….to Stiles?”  Derek asked.

 

“Not yet, but I know they will be Ok.  Especially now that you are rebuilding.  Most of them will be leaving for college, but whoever stays, they’ll have a home with you.  And look, I’m coming back.  Once I have my degree, Deaton is going to share his practice with me.  And it’s only about a four hour drive so I can come back at least once a month and….,”

 

“Ok,” Derek relented.

 

“Ok?!” Scott shrieked in excitement.  Scott started toward him to give him a hug, but Derek threw up his hands to stop him.  “But only if the pack agrees.  Unanimously.”

 

“Done!” Scott yelled as he pulled him in for a hug.  “Thank you Derek.”

 

Derek squeezed him back and couldn’t help but feel like everything was falling into place.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Stiles was looking over the cold case his father gave him when he heard a knock on his window.  Looking over, he saw it being slid open by Derek.  “Feeling nostalgic?”  he asked the werewolf amused.

 

Derek rolled his eyes, “if I had come to the front door, it would have ruined the surprise,” he told him.  “Surprise?” Stiles asked, perking up.  Derek ignored him as he looked for matching shoes and handed them to him.  Stiles took them, eyebrows raised.

 

“Take a drive with me?”  Derek asked.  And damn if Stiles didn’t just melt then and there at his open look.  Not trusting his voice, he nodded and bent down to put on his shoes.  

 

“Where are we going?” Stiles asked as they walked down the stairs.  His dad left a few hours ago to work a late shift.  Derek shrugged.  “Ohh...you are going for mysteriouswolf tonight,” Stiles teased making Dered roll his eyes.  

 

Stiles opened the door then closed it behind him and locked it.  “Ok wolfman, where ar…..,” Stiles started to ask as he turned around, but stopped at the sight of the beautiful car in the driveway next to the Jeep.  Mouth still open, he turned to Derek who was wearing a grin.

 

“I went and got her the day after the pack meeting,” Derek explained.  Stiles closed his mouth and swallowed.  “Can I drive?”  Stiles asked.

 

“Absolutely not.  But you can man the radio,” Derek told him as he opened the driver’s side door and got in.  Stiles rushed to the passenger side and got in.  Rubbing his hands over the Camaro’s dash, console, glove compartment, and then settling to put on his seatbelt.  Derek started the car and backed out of the driveway.  

 

They rode in silence with the windows down and the radio playing quietly in the background.  It was comfortable and both men were sporting contented smiles on their faces.  They left Beacon Hills watching the sun slowly move down.  “Has Scott talked to you yet?”  Derek asked.  Stiles turned to look at him with a questioning look.  “He asked me if I was really staying.”

 

“And what did you say?” Stiles asked, needing to hear it for himself.  

 

Derek turned to face him, “I told him yes.”  Stiles couldn’t help the smile that formed.  Turning back to the open window, Stiles thought about what Derek asked.  Minutes passed before he turned to Derek, “he got in didn’t he?”  Stiles asked.  Derek’s answering smile was enough.  Stiles fist pumped in the air and he did a little happy dance in his seat.  

 

Once Stiles was calmed again, Derek told him, “he asked me to look after Beacon Hills for him.”

 

Stiles smiled up at him, “and you told him you couldn’t because you make bad choices and would suck at it.  He then told  _ you  _ that you wouldn’t and you said Ok?”  Stiles guessed, fluttering his eyelids at him.

 

Derek glared at him, “something like that.”

 

Stiles laughed at Derek’s pout.  “I think it’s great Derek.  There’s no one better to fill that role.  I’m happy for the both of you,” Stiles told him genuinely.  Derek glanced at him before turning back to the road.  Stiles smelled of contentment and it made Derek happy that he had a hand in the reason.  They rode in silence again, but Derek spoke again.  “When I told Peter about the house, he said he couldn’t live there,” Derek found himself admitting.  Stiles turned to face him, “why?”

 

Derek shrugged, “he said it would be too hard.”  Derek was still watching the road, but could feel Stiles looking at him.  “What?”  He finally asked.  

 

“You don’t like it do you?  Not having Peter there.”

 

Derek let out a sigh, “the land may legally belong to me and Cora, but he has every right to be there.  I mean, I get it, but it doesn’t feel right not to have him there.”

 

“So what are you going to do about it? Stiles asked.  Derek turned to look at him.  “How do you know I’m going to do anything?”  That made Stiles snort, but he didn’t say anything, just waited for Derek to own up.

 

Letting out a breath he told him, “I was thinking of building him a little cottage on the right side of the garden.  Make a path through that grouping of trees to the opening on the other side and build him something there.  That way he’s still there, but has his privacy.”

 

Stiles smiled smugly, “you are too good Derek.  I don’t know how you do it, but I think that’s a great idea.”  Stiles wasn’t looking at him when he said it, but Derek glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.  

 

Pulling down a side road that he knew lead to an opening by the lake, Stiles didn’t even budge.  Didn’t ask where they were going or what he was doing.  He just continued to move his arm up and down in the wind like a wave.  

 

As they approached the clearing, Stiles let out a gasp.  The sun was starting to set behind a mountain in the distance causing pinks, oranges, and purples to fill the sky and reflect off the water.  “It’s beautiful Derek,” Stiles said in a whisper.  Derek pulled up as close to the water’s edge as he could and turned off the car.  Stiles got out immediately and walked toward the water, stopping a few feet away. 

 

Without questioning himself or any hesitation, Derek came up behind Stiles and wrapped his arms around Stiles’ waist and resting his chin on his shoulder.  Stiles leaned back into him and let out a contented sigh.  They stood there wrapped up in an embrace as the sun sunk behind the mountain.  Derek felt calm, happy, and being like this with Stiles felt right.  In that moment, he wanted to tell Stiles everything.  Tell him about being mates, about the choices he made, and that for the first time since Mexico, he and his wolf agreed on something.  But before he could gather the nerve to say anything, Stiles spoke, “this is perfect.”

 

Derek turned his head to look at the side of Stiles’ face and whispered, “it is.”  Stiles turned his head slightly so he could look into Derek’s eyes.  Derek didn’t let himself think before leaning in.  He let himself have something he wanted without debating about it beforehand.  As he closed the distance, Stiles closed his eyes and waited for their lips to meet.

 

It was so soft, so tender, and oh so perfect.  Derek fit his bottom lip where Stiles’ meet.  He didn’t try to push for more, this wasn’t the moment for it.  He smelled like sweet honey and the unique combination of Stiles and he tasted just as sweet.  Derek pulled back, both of them with their eyes still closed and put his forehead to Stiles’ inhaling his scent.  As the night sky turned darker they stayed in the embrace, not caring that the cold wind chilled their limbs.  This moment was enough.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are freaking amazing! Thank you for all the love! This chapter gets NSFW so proceed with caution. Enjoy! <3

The pack was meeting at the loft to load up on carbs before heading to the preserve for the full moon.  Stiles didn’t arrive early like he usually does, but when he walked through the door with Scott and met Derek’s gaze they shared a sly smile.  They had only shared that one kiss, but it was everything to Derek.  They stayed wrapped up in each other until Stiles got too cold.  When they got back in the car, Stiles reached over and linked their hands together without a word.  It felt real, but it tugged at Derek that Stiles didn’t know the whole truth.  

 

The pizza arrived and they all got caught up in eating until they felt like they may throw it all up.  Even Stiles, Mason, and Corey, who didn’t run with the wolves ate their fair share.  As they packed up, Malia announced, “I will be riding in Derek’s sick ride,” as she walked out.  Derek looked at Stiles with a “what can you do” look and Stiles smiled.  

 

Derek couldn’t help but feel giddy.  It had been almost four years since he had run on Hale property with  _ his  _ pack.  As Stiles and Mason set up a campfire with Scott, Derek started to get ready for the shift, but something was off.  Derek moved further into the woods away from everyone and tried again.  Nothing.  He couldn’t feel his wolf, couldn’t shift past his beta form.  His ability to shift into his wolf was gone.  

 

“What’s wrong?” Peter whispered from behind him.  Derek looked up wide eyed.  “I can’t….I can’t shift.  I can’t shift into my wolf,” Derek told him almost panicked.  Peter nodded, “makes sense,” he started, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention.

 

“You suppressed your wolf Derek.  You said yourself you felt like you did before Mexico, so maybe you are just like you were before your wolf manifested,” Peter explained.  

 

Derek didn’t know how to feel about that and started to panic a little.  The pack would be expecting him to shift with Malia and run as a wolf.  He may have to come clean and although he was wanting to tell Stiles, it wasn’t in front of  the whole pack.  He also felt a sense of loss that he hadn’t allowed himself to feel since the spell.  All he had been focused on was Stiles, but now that he is confronted with actually  _ not  _ having his wolf, he feels an incredible sense of emptiness.  

 

“You knew there could be consequences Derek,” Peter told him.

 

“I know that!” Derek growled, flashing his blue eyes at him.  

 

“Whoa, you Ok big guy?” Stiles said from behind him.  Derek turned and growled at him out of instinct.  He was on the defensive.

 

“Shit Derek, calm down,”  Stiles said, throwing up his hands and taking a step back.  Derek reeled himself in, shifting back to his human form.  “I’m sorry….it must be the full moon,” Derek told him not meeting his eyes.  Stiles knew it was bullshit and squinted his eyes at him.  

 

Before Stiles could push, Malia came up to them, “you ready to race Derek?”  Derek looked at Peter for help making Stiles even more wary.

 

“Now now Malia.  The pack can’t have the two of you showing off the first full moon Derek is back.  Why not just run in your beta forms like us we peasants have to,” Peter said coolly.  Derek stayed tense, waiting for Malia’s reply.

 

Letting out a huff she rolled her eyes and walked away without a word.  Derek relaxed and looked to his uncle in thanks.  

 

“Seriously Derek, what’s going on?”  Stiles asked, placing his hand on Derek’s arm.

 

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Derek lied again and Stiles knew it.  

 

“Derek…,”

 

“I said I’m fine Stiles! Just let it go!” Derek yelled.  Stiles yanked his hand back and gaped at Derek.  Hurt, embarrassment, and confusion washed over Stiles before he locked his emotions.  Without a word, Stiles turned and walked toward Mason and Corey, scent shifting to frustration.

 

“Shit,” Derek muttered to himself and rubbed his hands over his face.  He went to make his way to Stiles but was pulled back by Peter.  “Let it go Derek.  Just get through the run and fix it later,” his uncle told him.  Derek watched as Stiles sat down on the log and grabbed with fire poker, poking at the fire much harder than necessary.  Relenting, Derek followed his uncle to the rest of the pack a few yards away.

 

“You ready for this?” Scott asked, patting Derek on the back.  “Can’t wait,” Derek responded before turning back to look at Stiles who was still holding the poker, staring into the fire, and not paying attention to what Mason was saying to him.  

 

“Alright, let’s do this,” Scott said before shifting into his Alpha form, pulling his head back and howling.  That grabbed Derek’s attention and without thought, he turned toward the rest of the pack, shifted into his beta form, and then howled in unison with his pack.  

 

They ran for hours, weaving in and out between the trees.  Malia would bump into him and tackled him a few times, helping to get him out of his mood, but it never lasted.  After she would speed past him, his thoughts always returned to Stiles and how he was going to fix it.  He had to tell him everything.  It was time and he deserved to make his choice with all the information and before they took things any further.  Derek thought about the absence of his wolf too.  As much as he felt the loss, he would feel Stiles’ more.  If he had to choose, he would always choose Stiles.  

 

The pack started to make their way back to where they started earlier than they said they usually do, but Derek wasn’t complaining.  He wanted to try to talk to Stiles before the sun came up.  When they got back to where they were parked, Mason and Corey were curled up together, sleeping against the log opposite Stiles.  Stiles was glaring daggers at them.  Hearing the wolves approaching, he turned and locked eyes with Derek.  He was pissed.  

 

Standing, Stiles approached them, but looked at Derek when he said, “done?”  Scott looked from Stiles to Derek, and then back to Stiles.  “You Ok bro?”

 

“Fine, everything’s just  _ fine,”  _ he bit out, not looking away from Derek.  Scott let out breath before saying, “we were just going to hang out here for a bit and then maybe run some more later, but if you guys want to go…,” Scott trailed off when Stiles cut in, “yeah, we want to go.”

 

Derek looked at Scott and shrugged, and then turned to Peter.  “I won’t be home until the afternoon,” he told Derek.  He nodded in thanks and met Scott’s bewildered look.  “Thanks for the run.  I’ll see you later.”  When Derek turned back around, Stiles was already in the passenger seat of the Camaro.  

 

They rode to the loft without a word, but Stiles’ scent was projecting enough.  He was angry and determined.  Derek knew he wasn’t leaving until he knew everything.  This isn’t how he wanted to tell him, but he knew he had to no matter what.  

 

Derek followed Stiles into the elevator, let him hit the button to go up, watched as he fumbled to unlock the door, slide it open, then slide it shut and lock it behind them.  And then he waited.  Stiles took off his red hoodie, then turned on him.

 

“What the actual fuck Derek!”  he yelled as he started to pace.  Derek opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off.  “Like seriously!  I am not leaving his loft until you tell me everything.  And don’t you dare say everything is  _ fine!  _ If I hear that word out of your mouth I will kick your ass, wait for you to heal, and then kick your ass again!”  Stiles paused long enough to take a breath.  Derek tried again to speak, but Stiles wasn’t finished.  “First, you are dickwolf, then you are all friendshipwolf, AND THEN, you are all cuddly, sexy, kiss Stiles at sunset wolf! AND THEN you are all dickwolf again!  And I let it go Derek! I only looked that one time, but when you asked me to let it go I did, but I’m done ignoring it!”

 

This time, Stiles paused longer and Derek managed, “Stiles, just calm down…”

 

“Calm down!  You shifted and then yelled at me! You LIED to me, twice.  I want to know what’s going on because damn it Derek, I like you.  And not, ‘hey, let’s be friends’ like, but the ‘I want to kiss you all the damn time and hope it leads to more’ like!  And you are sending some serious mixed signals with kissing me and smiling at me and...umph.”  Stiles wasn’t able to finish his rant because Derek pushed him up against wall and cut him off with a kiss.  

 

This one was hard and rough and effectively shut Stiles up.  Leaning back, Derek stared at Stiles until he opened his eyes.  “Was that clear enough for you Stiles?”  Derek asked.  Stiles blinked a few times before saying, “you know, I was a little distracted.  I may need you to repeat that.”  Derek smirked as he leaned in and took Stiles’ mouth with his own.  He started slow and gentle, before pushing his tongue in the crease of Stiles’ lips, asking for admission.  Stiles groaned, opening his mouth just enough for Derek to take advantage.  Their tongues danced and pushed against each other’s until Stiles sucked on Derek’s causing his hips to buck forward and Stiles to groan at the impact.

 

Derek pulled back trying to catch his breath, “Stiles, we need to talk…,”  Stiles locked his finger’s in Derek’s hair trying to pull him back to his lips.  “Shh...we are having a very active conversation right now,” Stiles told him before pushing his lips against his again.  They were tongues, hands, and teeth for several minutes before Derek broke away again, “Stiles, seriously, we should talk first,” Derek said again.

 

Shaking his head, Stiles looked into Derek’s eyes, “No Derek, for the first time ever, I don’t want to talk.  I just want this.  I just want you,” Stiles pleaded.  Derek could see what he wasn’t saying in his eyes because he was feeling it too.  He knew whatever Derek had to say would change everything and he just wanted tonight.  Before the big reveal, before decisions had to be made and truths told, he wanted this moment with Derek and Derek wanted it too.  

 

“Ok,” Derek replied.  Stiles smiled, “then take me to bed big guy.”  Derek didn’t have to be told twice.  Leaning down, Derek grabbed his ass and pulled him up.  Stiles wrapped his legs around his waist and leaned down to kiss him as he walked to the stairs.  They kissed all the way up the stairs, through Derek opening his bedroom door, and kicking it shut.  Derek threw Stiles on the bed, wasting no time taking off his shirt.  “Clothes.  Off.” Derek growled as he reached for his belt.  Stiles didn’t hesitate to rip his shirt over his head and kick off his jeans.  Before he could pull his boxers down, a very naked Derek was crawling over him.  Derek bent down to Stiles’ collarbone and licked his way up to his ear.  “Holy shit,” Stiles groaned out.  

 

Derek didn’t stop there, he kissed his way down his jaw and chin, down his neck, and toward Stiles’ nipples. Covering his nipple with his mouth, Derek sucked hard, causing Stiles to buck up, making his hard cock stab Derek in the chest.  “Oh god Derek,” Stiles moaned as Derek’s mouth travelled south.  Stiles moved his hands from the sheets to Derek’s hair as Derek dipped his tongue in his navel and then started kissing down his treasure trail.  Pulling Stiles’ boxers down, his cock sprang free.  Derek growled in appreciation and without warning licked up his long cock from the base to the tip.  “Derek…,” Stiles begged.  

 

“What do you want Stiles?”  Derek teased.  

 

“You know what I want Derek.”

 

“Say it,” Derek bit out trying to restrain himself from just flipping Stiles over and fucking him raw.  

 

“I want your mouth,”  Stiles pleaded.

 

“Like this?” Derek asked, taking in just the tip and sucking hard.  “Ahh, more Derek, please.”  At that, Derek opened his mouth wide, and pushed his lips down Stiles’ dick until the tip hit the back of his throat.  Once there, he moved back up slowly, sucking the tip, before sliding down again.  Stiles gripped Derek’s hair tightly and pulled causing Derek to growl and increase his pace.  Derek fisted the base of Stiles’ cock with one hand and pinned him down at his hip with the other as he moved his mouth and swirled his tongue.

 

“Derek I’m close,” Stiles warned, but it just caused Derek to increase his speed.  “Derek, holy shit...I’m….I’m….,”  Stiles’ hips shot up as he came.  Derek continued to move his mouth through his orgasm until every last drop was swallowed.  Stiles melted into the bed as Derek kissed his way up his skin.  

 

“You taste fucking fantastic,” Derek whispered in his ear before he moved to the nightstand.  Stiles shivered as he watched Derek open the drawer and pull out a bottle of lube.  “I have condoms…,” Derek started, but was waved off by Stiles.  Derek crawled back between his knees as Stiles spread his legs and presented himself to him.  Derek looked up into Stiles’ eyes before asking, “You’re sure?”

 

Stiles snorted, “I want you inside me Derek, like, five minutes ago.”  Derek growled while leaning over and grabbing a pillow.  Placing it under Stiles’ hips, he pushed his knees up and to the side.  Derek locked eyes with Stiles as he opened the lube, coated his finger, and then poured some over his entrance.  Leaning down, he kissed Stiles and pushed the first finger in knuckle deep.  Stiles gasped.  “Ok?”  Derek asked.  Stiles nodded, “more Derek,” he told him.  Derek leaned down again and kissed Stiles slowly as he pushed his finger all the way in.  He continued kissing him as he added the second and third finger, opening him up.

 

“I’m ready Derek, I want to feel you,” Stiles moaned as Derek finger fucked him.  Derek removed his fingers, added more lube to his dick and lined the tip to Stiles’ entrance.  They locked eyes.  “I want all of it Derek, don’t hold back,” Stiles told him.  Derek groaned, held onto his hips, and then pushed forward in one quick motion until he was balls deep.  

 

“Ahh!” Stiles yelled in both pleasure and pain.  Derek stilled, allowing Stiles to adjust to this new intrusion.  After several minutes passed, Stiles told Derek to move.  He pulled out slowly, and then pushed his way back in.  He set this torturous pace until Stiles couldn’t take it anymore.  “Fuck me Derek, don’t hold back.”  Derek pulled back out and slammed into him hard.  Lifting his hips off the pillow, Derek held him still as he slammed back into him fast and hard.  “Fuck Stiles, you feel so damn good.”  Derek groaned out over the noise of Stiles’ panting and their asses slapping together.  Stiles gripped onto Derek’s forearms as he tried to meet his thrusts.  Derek fucked him faster, “Stiles, I’m close….,” Derek bit out.

 

“Let go Derek, come with me,” Stiles told him as he wrapped his long fingers around his once again hard cock.  Stiles stroked himself hard a few times before him and Derek were coming undone together.  

Derek collapsed to the side of Stiles, making sure not to crush him. They laid there, panting and sticky for several minutes trying to compose themselves.  

 

“That was…..wow,” Stiles said.

 

Derek grunted his agreement making Stiles chuckle.  Stiles moved to get up, but was dragged back down by Derek.  “Whoa big guy. I was just going to get something to clean us up,” Stiles laughed out.  

 

“Later,” Derek mumbled, rearranging their positions so Derek was lying behind Stiles, spooning him, arm draped around his waist.  “Later,” Stiles agreed as they both feel asleep in each other’s arms.  


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh!! One more chapter after this you guys!! And then I will add a bonus chapter! <3

Stiles woke up to an empty bed feeling blissfully sore and with a smile on his face; however, he quickly sobered.  There were things they still needed to talk about and what if Derek didn’t really want anything with him?  Or worse, what if he regretted what happened?  Stiles thought about just getting dressed and going home.  His ability to ignore a problem until it goes away has worked out for him so far.  He could just distract Derek with sex and then they never had to talk about it.  

 

But Stiles wanted to talk about it.  They  _ needed  _ to talk about it.  With false bravery, he dressed and wandered down the stairs and into the kitchen.  There, he found Derek in low hanging sweats making breakfast.  “Morning,” Derek said without turning.  

 

“Morning,” Stiles said back a little cautious.  His tone caused Derek to turn around.  “Are you Ok?” Derek asked tentatively.

 

“Are  _ you  _ Ok?”  He asked back.  Derek deflated, reading him perfectly.  Taking a few steps forward, Derek reached out and pulled Stiles to him by his hips.  “If you’re wondering if I regret what happened the answer is no.”  Derek leaned in and kissed the tip of Stiles’ nose, then his lips, before dropping his forehead to his.  “Me too,” Stiles replied, eyes closed.  

 

“Good,” Derek said before letting go of Stiles and turning back to the omelettes he was making.  Stiles sat down on the stool and enjoyed the view.  A few minutes later, the food was plated and they were eating at the table.  Stiles kept sneaking looks at Derek, wondering if he was going to speak first or was content to ignore the issue too.

 

With half his omelette eaten, Derek started poking at what was left.  “You were right,” Derek told him.  Stiles dropped his fork and looked up.  “Ok, we’re doing this.  Right now.  Perfect,” he rambled.  Derek smiled at him and shook his head.  “You wanted the truth so here it is…,” Derek started to say, but Stiles cut him off again, “No, totally.  I want to know what’s been going on with you.  So...Ok….let’s do this,” Stiles finished, moving his neck back and forth.

 

Derek rolled his eyes, “Just listen Ok?  Let me explain everything before you say something,” Derek asked.  Stiles nodded his head yes, but Derek stared at him, eyebrows raised.  “Ok, I promise,” Stiles replied, holding up his attempt of “scout’s honor.”

 

Derek looked down at his plate before starting.  “When you came by the first day I came back, my wolf reacted to you in a way that was confusing.  I was pulled to you, needing to be near you.  When you left, Peter told me that my wolf recognized you as my mate.”  

 

Stiles gasped, causing Derek to look up into wide, amber eyes.  Stiles moved his mouth to say something, but closed it tightly to stop himself.  Derek sighed before continuing.  “I was confused because I had never had that reaction to you before.  We both know what the mate bond means and I couldn’t tell you when I didn’t fully understand it myself.  Not only was I worried about how you would react, I needed to know how  _ I  _ felt about it.  So Peter took me to a Druid Priestess that performed a spell to suppress my wolf.  I wanted to get to know you without it overpowering every thought.  I had to know that I was choosing you as my mate, not just my wolf.  Last night I realized that I can’t shift anymore.  I am basically who I was before Mexico.”

 

Derek was watching Stiles, gaging his reaction, but Stiles was still processing.  Finally, Stiles threw his hands in the air, “I am so stupid!” He yelled getting out of his seat.  Derek frowned, but Stiles continued.  “How did I not figure this out?”  Stiles asked more to himself.

 

“That’s what you got from that?”

 

Stiles turned to face Derek, “I researched the mating bond for months Derek.   _ Months!  _ After Allison died I was so scared for Scott I looked up  _ everything.   _ It didn’t even occur to me to look at that.  It wasn’t even a possibility.”

 

Derek sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.  “Why didn’t you just tell me Derek?”  Stiles asked.  Derek looked up at him.  “I told you, I wanted to figure it out on my own how I felt about you.  And I didn’t want you making a decision based on mating bond research or what effect it may have on me if you didn’t want it too,” Derek admitted.  

 

“And how do you feel about me?”  Stiles asked sitting back down and unable to meet his eyes.  Derek got up and moved to where Stiles was sitting, walking in between his legs.  He put his hand under his chin and tilted his head up until Stiles was looking up at him.  “For the first time since Mexico, my wolf and I are on the same page,” he told him.  

 

Stiles sucked in a breath at what he was implying.  Derek  _ and  _ his wolf were choosing him as his mate.  “Me too,” Stiles said leaning in for a kiss.  They shared a chaste kiss before Derek leaned back and looked at Stiles.  “I want you to really think about what you want Stiles.  You don’t have to decide today.”

 

“Umm...pretty sure last night made it clear what I want,” Stiles retorted.  

 

“Being mates is a lifelong commitment Stiles.  You have to be sure this is what you want.  That  _ I’m  _ what you want.”

 

Stiles pulled back as far as he could, “Derek.  I do choose you!”

 

Derek smiled and pulled Stiles back toward him.  “I have no doubt that you want to be with me Stiles, but this is more….,”  Derek tried to explain, but Stiles cut him off.  “For someone who says he chooses me, you sure are trying hard to convince me otherwise.”

 

“Stiles, that’s not it,” Derek soothed.  

 

“Then what is it?”  Stiles asked defensively.

 

Derek sighed, “There was a loophole in the spell Stiles.  Not only did I have to choose you as my mate, but you had to choose me.  You have to accept the bond too and my wolf would manifest again,” Derek explained.  

 

Stiles looked down at his hands, “but I do choose you Der,” Stiles whined.  

 

“Stiles,” Derek said trying to get him to look up at him.  Stiles peeked up through his eyelashes making Derek smile.  “It’s Ok.  You don’t have to decide anything today.  I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“But you gave up your wolf for me!” Stiles demanded.  

 

“Hey, I didn’t  _ give up  _ anything for you.  I made a decision for myself and would do it again.  I don’t need a mating bond to tell me how I feel about you Stiles.   _ I  _ choose you and that’s all that matters,” Derek told him.  

 

Stiles searched Derek’s eyes and all he saw was complete honesty.  He placed his hand over Derek’s heart, “you have the most beautiful heart you know that?”  Stiles asked.  Derek placed his hand over Stiles’ and kissed the tip of his nose.  When he pulled back Stiles whispered, “I think it’s the most attractive thing about you.”

 

Derek leaned back in and nuzzled Stiles under his ear and whispered, “Ditto.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! Here it is guys!! Final chapter. I still plan on doing a bonus chapter, but I don't know how fast I'll get it up. 
> 
> I just want to say THANK YOU! For all the love on this fic! You guys are amazing! Hope you enjoy how it "ends". <3

Stiles walked up the stairs to his room in a daze.  The last few days have been intense and the truth that Derek shared a few hours ago has the weight to make everything topple over.  Stiles made it to his room, stripped, and walked into the shower before the water had time to adjust.  Not only did he and Derek have sex--the kind of sex that ruins you for anyone else, but he admitted that they were mates.  Stiles was shocked, to say the least, but it also felt right.  He and Derek had this connection that he has never felt with anyone before.  He wanted Derek, could see himself with Derek, and would happily let Derek claim him, but apparently that wasn’t enough.  

 

Maybe there was a glitch in the spell.  Or Derek wasn’t fully on board as he claimed, but as soon as the thoughts were in his head, they were quickly pushed out.  Stiles believed Derek when he told him that he cared about him and chose him as his mate.  It wasn’t Derek, it was Stiles.  

 

Quickly drying himself off, Stiles put on a pair of pajama pants and Spider-Man T-shirt.  He had zero plans to leave the house and settled on top of his comforter.  Stiles stared at the ceiling, willing it to produce an answer for him with no luck.  As time passed, the light coming in from the window started to shift causing it to cast more shadows.  Stiles heard the familiar sound of his dad’s cruiser pulling into the driveway.  He listened as his dad walked through the door, walked up the stairs, and went to his room to change.  Several minutes later, there was a soft knock on his door.

 

“You in there kiddo?”  His dad asked as he pushed open the door. Stiles didn’t move his eyes from the spot on the ceiling he was staring at.  “You Ok?”  Stiles grunted his response.

 

“Wanna talk about it?” The sheriff asked, sitting down in the desk chair.  Stiles just grunted again.  His dad flipped through the cold case Stiles was working on waiting for his son to open up.  After a few minutes, Stiles finally spoke.  “I stayed at Derek’s last night.”

 

“Oh?” His dad responded, hand stilling on the page he just flipped over.  Stiles was still staring at the ceiling.  “He told me why he was acting so strange.”

 

“That bad?” His dad tested.  Stiles let out a long breath.  “He told me I’m his mate,” Stiles confessed.  The sheriff shifted in the chair, turning it so he was facing his son.  He didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue.  Staring up at the ceiling, Stiles told him everything.  He told him about why Derek reacted the way he did the first day he saw Stiles, the spell and why he did it, spending time together and getting to know each other, the car ride, the full moon, and ending with their talk this morning.  All the while, the sheriff listened.

 

“I don’t understand dad, I want to be with him.  Why hasn’t he got his wolf back?”  Stiles asked at the end of everything.  

His dad took a few minutes to collect his thoughts before answering, “I don’t think it’s a matter of wanting to be with him Stiles.  From what I know, a mating bond is more sacred than marriage in a wolf pack.  You are essentially tying your life to another person.  Are you ready for that kind of commitment?”

 

Stiles finally looked at his dad for the first time since he sat down, “For Derek? Yes,” He answered honestly.  The sheriff nodded his head, searching his son’s eyes.  “I want you to close your eyes and picture something for me.”  Stiles’ eyebrows shot up.  “Just indulge your old man,” his dad said.  Stiles turned his eyes back to the ceiling before closing them.  

 

“I want you to picture you and Derek.  You’ve accepted the bond, been mated, and Derek has his wolf,” the sheriff told his son.  A small smile started on Stiles’ lips. “Derek’s rebuilt the Hale house and you are living there together with the pack.  You’ve talked about getting married and one day starting a family of your own.”  The sheriff let Stiles get lost in the fantasy for a little bit before continuing.  “You are the happiest you’ve ever been.  Beacon Hills has been monster free, the pack is thriving, and every night you get to look into Derek’s eyes before you fall asleep.  How does that make you feel Stiles?”

 

“Terrified,” Stiles blurted out.  His eyes snapped open.  Stiles sat up and looked at his dad, “that doesn’t mean anything,” Stiles breathed out.  

 

“That means everything son,” his dad replied.  Stiles blinked at him in confusion.  His dad got up from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed.  “Stiles, you are used to a lot of loss.  You accept it as a part of this life you live.  But I think as much as you want this with Derek, deep down you are absolutely terrified to have everything with him and then have it taken away.”  Stiles’ eyes started to water.  “I….I….,” Stiles stumbled with what to say.  

 

“Hey, I get it kid.  Opening yourself up to have everything you’ve ever wanted with the chance that one day you’ll wake up and it will all be gone is the scariest thing this life has to offer.  But I can tell you this.  Knowing how it ended with your mom, I wouldn’t change a thing.  She was the greatest love of my life, the best adventure, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat even if the outcome was the same,” his dad told him.  Stiles looked up, the tears in his eyes no longer able to stay in as they tumbled down his cheek.  

 

“I don’t think it’s a matter of whether or not you want Derek son.  I think you have to decide whether you open yourself up to have everything or if what you have now with him is enough,” the sheriff said, leaning over and placing a kiss on Stiles’ forehead before getting up.

 

“Dad?”  Stiles said just as the sheriff opened the door to leave.

 

Turning around, his dad answered, “yeah son?”

 

“Thank you,” Stiles whispered.  His dad smiled.  “Anytime kiddo, anytime,” he said shutting the door behind him.  

 

Stiles fell back on his pillows and wiped the tears from his face.  Staring back up at the ceiling, Stiles tried to process everything his dad said.  He went from never thinking he would see Derek again, to realizing he had feelings for him, to maybe-dating him, to being his mate in a month.  Not only that, but Derek wants him back.  He’s literally getting everything he never realized he wanted handed to him and it is scary as fuck.  What he needed to decide was whether it was all worth it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“It’s been four days,” Peter said looking out the window of the loft.

 

Derek rolled his eyes from the couch where he was reading.  “Peter, relax.  You’d think you were the one mated to Stiles.”

 

Peter scoffed, turning and walking away from the window to sit on the loveseat.  “I don’t understand what’s taking him so long.  It’s inevitable and you two are disgustingly perfect for each other. At this point, he’s just being dramatic.”

 

“Peter…,” Derek sighed.  When Peter came home after the full moon and smelled the loft he thought for sure things had been settled and Derek had his wolf back.  When Derek explained the situation, Peter just didn’t understand.  As a wolf, when you find your mate, it’s almost an instantaneous connection  But if you haven’t grown up surrounded by wolf culture, it was harder to grasp.  Peter thought it was ridiculous and wanted things to be how he thought they should be already.  To him, it wasn’t a matter of  _ if  _ Stiles accepted Derek as his mate, but  _ when.  _ And he wanted the when to be  _ now. _

 

“Seriously Peter, I don’t understand why you are so uptight about this,” Derek told him.

 

Peter rolled his eyes, “the sooner you two idiots figure it out the sooner we can get back to more important things.”

 

Derek arched his eyebrows, “like what?”

 

“Like you rebuilding the house so you can move out and I don’t have to smell you and Stiles.  Finishing the Bestiary so I don’t have to spend my afternoons and some evenings pretending to care about it…...why are you looking at me like that?”  Peter asked at Derek’s smirk.

 

“You’re not fooling anyone Peter,” Derek replied, smirk growing wider.  Before Peter could make a snarky comment, Derek sat up and clutched his chest letting out a growl.  Moving quickly to his side, Peter asked, “Derek what is it?”  When Derek looked up, his blue eyes glowed.  “Stiles,” he breathed out.  

 

Pausing to listen, Peter heard the faint sound of the Jeep’s engine.  Moving to the window, Peter saw Stiles still on the main road, he hadn’t even turned into the parking lot.  “Do you think…?” Peter started to ask, but Derek answered his unfinished question.  “I think it’s my wolf.  I can already feel him as he gets closer, hear his heartbeat.”

 

Derek was overwhelmed by the wave of possessiveness that was washing over him.  It was like a month’s worth of need, want, and desire was taking him over.  Derek tried to take deep, calming breaths to control himself, but it wasn’t doing much.

 

“I’m going to let you two work it out,” Peter said as he walked toward the door.  Derek looked up panicked.  “I don’t need to see this,” he told his nephew.

 

“What if I hurt him?” Derek pleaded.  

 

Peter sighed, “You wouldn’t Derek.  He’s your mate and no matter how overcome you are with every other feeling, keeping him safe will always win out.”  Derek nodded as his uncle walked out the door.  He could hear Stiles get into the elevator, the doors close, and then the squeaky ascent.  He took a deep breath in and then let it out just as slowly.  The scent of Stiles grew stronger and it was taking every ounce of strength not to run to the door and meet him in the hallway.  

 

Derek stood behind the couch, claws digging into the cushions as Stiles slide the door open.  Their eyes clashed as Stiles breathed out, “hi.”

 

“What changed?” Derek asked, his wolf scrambling to be near him.  Derek pushed his claws farther into the couch.

 

“I don’t want to be scared anymore,” Stiles replied while sliding the door shut behind him, but never breaking eye contact.  Derek whimpered.

 

“Not scared of  _ you,  _ Derek,” Stiles rushed to clarify.  At the admission, Derek settled a bit.  Taking a step forward slowly, Stiles continued.  “I don’t want to be scared of having good things in my life and then watch them be taken away.  I don’t want to worry that happiness is only fleeting, or that I don’t deserve to have any type of peace.  I’m tired of holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I don’t want to live my life looking over my shoulder anymore, Derek.  I want a life filled with happiness, adventure, small moments of peace, and I want it with you.”

 

Stiles had made it over half the way into the room and almost to the couch as he spoke.  As he got closer, Derek’s breathing quickened.  “You’re sure?”  Derek all but whispered, not realizing just how much he not only  _ needed  _ Stiles to say yes, but  _ wanted  _ it too.

A small smile formed on Stiles’ lips as he reached the couch.  Slowly, he moved closer to Derek as he spoke.  “Derek.  It was you before you left.  It was you while you were gone.  And it is you now and always.”  Stiles was in front of Derek now.  Kneeling on the couch with only the back separating them, he reached out his hands and cupped his face.  Derek closed his eyes, nuzzling into the touch.  

 

“Stiles, I don’t know if I can hold myself back much longer,” Derek said, clear restraint in his voice.  

 

“Don’t.  I’m yours,” Stiles replied, leaning forward and brushing his lips against his.  Derek growled and cupped Stiles’ face to deepen the kiss.  Somehow, Derek leaped over the back of the couch and had Stiles on his back without breaking the kiss.  Derek’s hands moved from Stiles’ face to travel down his chest.  Breaking the kiss, Derek nuzzled his face in Stiles’ neck and took in a deep breath, inhaling his scent--the scent of his mate.  Stiles tilted his head back, exposing his neck to him.  Derek growled, “I want you Stiles.”

 

“I’m 100% on board with that,” Stiles told him.

 

“It might get rough...I don’t want to hurt you,” Derek admitted as he licked a trail from his collarbone to the shell of his ear.  Stiles lifted Derek’s face until their eyes locked.  “I trust you,” Stiles said softly.  Derek relaxed just a fraction, but sat up, pulling his shirt over his head on the way.  Stiles took that as his cue and began stripping off his clothes too.  Once naked, Derek took his time exploring every inch of Stiles’ body.  Licking every dip in his stomach and making sure there wasn’t any part of Stiles that didn’t smell like him.  

 

Without a word, Derek took Stiles’ hand and pulled him off the couch, and then positioned him with his hands on the arm of the couch, ass pushed out as if presenting it to Derek.  He came up behind him, running his hands down his shoulders and cupped his hips.  “Don’t move your hands,” Derek told Stiles.  All Stiles could do was groan his response.  Derek nipped his ear before dropping to his knees and spreading Stiles’ legs wider for him.  Once satisfied, he parted his cheeks and made one sweeping motion with his tongue.

 

“Holy fuck,” Stiles let out as his hips pushed back causing Derek’s face to get buried deeper.  He didn’t hesitate to stick his tongue in Stiles’ hole.  “I can still smell myself inside you Stiles,” Derek growled causing Stiles to whimper in response.  Derek continued to use his tongue to fuck Stiles until adding a finger as well.  Stiles rocked his hips to meet every thrust causing his hard cock to rub against the arm of the couch.  

 

“Derek…,” Stiles pleaded.  Derek just hummed in response adding a second finger.  “Derek please….I’m ready.”

 

Derek used his two fingers and tongue to spread Stiles a little wider before pulling them all out.  Spitting in his hand, he coated his dick as best he could before lining himself up and pushing himself in slowly until he couldn’t any more.  

 

“So tight Stiles.  You’re fucking perfect,” Derek growled out, gripping his hips before slowly sliding out and sliding back in.  His wolf was screaming to claim him.  Make his mark and let everyone know Stiles was  _ his, _ but Derek was trying to hold back as much as possible.  He started a steady rhythm, moving slowing out then pushing back in just as slow, changing the angle to find Stiles’ prostate.  

 

“Oh god...there….again Derek,” Stiles groaned out.  Derek complied causing Stiles to shudder.  “Derek, stop holding yourself back, I can take it,” Stiles pleaded.  

 

“Stiles…,” Derek started to protest, but Stiles cut him off.  “Please Der,” he whispered while tilting his head to the side, exposing his neck again.

 

“Stiles…,” Derek growled.

 

“Do it Derek.  Claim me,”  Stiles told him firmly.  Derek’s thrusts stuttered, eyes flashing blue.  Hearing Stiles say those words and having him the position he had him with his  neck presented broke all restraint.  Derek gripped Stiles’ hip in one hand and bent down to lick the point where his shoulder meets his neck, giving a hard thrust.  “Ahh….yes Derek,” Stiles groaned out.  Derek sped up the pace, slamming into him harder and faster than he ever has before.  Stiles continued to encourage him to go harder while meeting every thrust.  

 

“Stiles…,” Derek groaned out as he felt the pressure in the base of his spine.  “Now Derek,” Stiles told him.  Derek didn’t need any more assurance, he bared his fangs and bit down on Stiles’ neck, hard enough to draw blood, but not deep enough to do any damage or risk turning him.  

 

“Holy shit!” Stiles yelled out in both pleasure and pain.  Derek thrust one more time hard before they were both coming apart.  Derek filled Stiles as Stiles came all over the couch.  Derek continued to move with shallow slow strokes even after the orgasm was over, licking the mark he left.  “So fucking perfect,” Derek told Stiles softly.

 

“You’re so good for my ego,” Stiles tried to joke, but his words were jumbled.  

 

“You’re jokes still need some work,” Derek teased.

 

“Hmph,”  was all Stiles could manage.  

 

“Come on,” Derek told him with a chuckle pulling out of him and standing up.  Stiles didn’t move.   Derek sat down on the couch in front of Stiles, put his hands under his shoulders, and then pulled him on top of him.  “I am totally going to love you manhandling me like this,” Stiles told him as he allowed Derek to position them on the couch.  Derek reached down to grab the small blanket that had fallen to the ground and covered them.  After a few moments of silence Stiles asked, “how do you feel?”

 

Derek stopped to finally assess how he felt.  He realized that he didn’t feel the pull of his wolf like he always had.  Before, it was like having something inside him that he couldn’t quite manage.  He was himself, but he also had his wolf.  Now, it felt like he was just himself.  He felt his wolf, but it was no longer roaming around with a mind of its own.  For the first time in what feels like forever, Derek felt whole.  His wolf had seeped into his bones.  It was no longer Derek versus his wolf, but now they were one unit.  He felt settled.

 

“I guess you could say this is what being at peace feels like,” Derek answered.

 

Stiles turned to face Derek, sarcastic remark on the tip of his tongue, but seeing Derek’s earnest expression, he swallowed it.  “Good,” he said instead.  Derek smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of Stiles head.  They settled in wrapped up in each other.  As they drifted off to sleep, Derek couldn’t help but thank his wolf for getting something so right.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I did it. Story is finally complete. Thank you for all the love and comments. You are guys are amazing!
> 
> This chapter consists of five sections starting with one year later, after chapter 15 ended, and continues the same pattern. Hope you enjoy!! <3

_ One year later….. _

 

Derek pulled up to the house after a 12-hour shift and immediately heard Stiles in the garden.  A smile pulled at his lips as he heard his boyfriend talking as he watered the flowers.  Derek found him by the corn poppies, the flowers they planted in honor of Stiles’ mother.  

 

Looking up, Stiles smiled at Derek, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you in that uniform,” he told him as Derek approached him.  Derek’s smile turned cocky as he pulled him in for a quick kiss and hug.  Inhaling his scent, all the tension evaporated from his shoulders.  “Hmm…,” Derek replied, burrowing his nose in Stiles’ neck. 

 

“Long night?”  Stiles asked, placing a kiss on the top of his head.  Derek just hummed again making Stiles laugh.  Derek hates working the night shift.  Neither him or Stiles sleep well when they aren’t together and after a week of restless sleep and long hours, it was catching up to him.  

 

“Peter’s here,” Derek announced after a few moments of being wrapped up in each other.  Stiles pulled back and met his eyes, “You’re gonna show him?”  He asked.  Derek nodded.

 

“Show me what?  I’ve seen all this before,”  Peter said as he entered the garden waving his hand at the pair referring to them.  Derek and Stiles rolled their eyes, neither of them responded.  Stiles gave a Derek a kiss before walking past Peter and out of the garden.  Peter looked at Derek, eyebrows raised in question.  

 

“Follow me.” Derek said almost in question.  Peter moved behind Derek without comment.  “You’re not leading me into the woods to put me down are you?”  Peter asked half-joking.  Derek snorted, “not today,” he teased.  Neither of the men spoke as Derek followed the newly paved path toward the cabin he built for Peter.  

 

Soon, the trees widened, revealing the small cabin.  Peter’s breath caught giving himself away before he tried to reel it in, “What’s this?”  He asked his nephew.

 

“It’s yours Peter.  You belong on the preserve with the pack,” Derek answered, eyes staying on the cabin.

 

“Derek…,” Peter trailed off.  Derek finally turned to face him before speaking.  “No Peter.  You don’t get to tell me how hard it is to be back here.  Because I’m here every day without them too.  You don’t get to say you don’t deserve to feel any kind of peace.  Because I’ve forgiven you Peter, it’s time you forgave yourself too.  You are a part of this pack.  You are a Hale and you belong here with your family.”

 

Peter’s eyes welled, but the tears refused to fall.  He took in the cabin with two chairs sitting in front by a bed of tulips.  There were people to fill that second chair whether he wanted it or not, whether he felt he deserved it or not. “You are so much like her you know,” Peter managed to say.  

 

“Who?” Derek asked.  

 

Peter met his nephew’s eyes, “your mother,” he answered.  A private conversation went on between uncle and nephew.  What felt like a lifetime of unspoken words exchanged before Derek nodded and made his way back to the house.  He changed out of his uniform before finding Stiles in the kitchen stirring what smelled like chili.  Walking up behind him, he wrapped his arms around his waist and placed his chin on Stiles’ shoulder.  “Smells good,” Derek told him.

 

“Thanks.  How’d it go?” Stiles asked as he placed the lid back on the pot.  

 

“He’ll be moved in soon,” Derek answered.  Stiles turned around, eyebrows raised.  “He said that?”  Derek shrugged in response and kissed Stiles, slow at first, but then Stiles pushed him back until he hit the island counter.  

 

“Damn it Malia!”  Cora shouted from the upstairs hallway.

 

Stiles pulled back and sighed, “here we go.”  Both men stood in their embrace as they waited for the show to begin.

 

“What?” Maila asked as she also came into the hall.

 

“This is one of my favorite shirts! And now it smells like random men!” Cora shouted.

 

“Why is that my problem?”  Malia asked confused.

 

“Right, like you didn’t borrow my shit without asking,  _ again, _ ” Cora accused.  

 

“Like I’d be caught wearing  _ that, _ ” Malia countered.

 

“Oh, you mean actual pieces of clothing?” Cora all but growled.

 

“I run hot!” Malia yelled back.

 

“Yeah! Like a bitch in heat!” Cora hissed.

 

“Oh snap,” Stiles said from downstairs as Derek let out a sigh and closed his eyes.  Chaos erupted upstairs between the two cousins.  

 

Cora came home a few months after the construction on the house started.  Malia and Cora got along for the most part, but their strong personalities clashed sometimes.  It reminded Derek of Laura and Cora growing up and he couldn’t help but smile even though he knew they were destroying the hallway,  _ again. _  Right now, they are the only two left in Beacon Hills from the pack.  Scott comes back twice a month, but everyone else is scattered at college.  Derek misses everyone, but couldn’t imagine what it would be like right now with everyone together.

 

“Will it ever stop?”  Stiles groaned.  Derek chuckled, “Probably not.” Stiles groaned and placed his head on Derek’s chest.  “Hey,” Derek said, waiting for Stiles to meet his eyes before continuing.  “I love you,”

 

Stiles melted into Derek more, “I love you too baby.”  Their lips met just as a vase hit the floor upstairs.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_ 3 years later….. _

 

Stiles was pacing the floor in their bedroom waiting for Derek to come home.  “I just  _ had  _ to investigate.  Couldn’t just let it go,” he reprimanded himself.  Turning around to pace the other way, he put his thumb back in his mouth and started to chew on the nail that was barely there.

“Stiles?”  Derek called from the top of the stairs.  Stiles stopped moving and stared wide-eyed at the door.  “Stiles what’s wrong?  I can smell your anxiety and….guilt from the driveway,” Derek asked as he opened the door.  He looked like he was holding his wolf from breaking free and smothering Stiles.  

 

“I’m so sorry Derek…,” Stiles started.  At his tone Derek moved closer, but Stiles started pacing again.  “It’s really all your fault!” He exclaimed.  When he turned back around to pace back he saw Derek’s eyebrows almost meeting his hairline.  “Well it is!” Stiles yelled again, starting to pace the side of the bed instead of the front.  “You’ve been acting so funny lately.  I don’t need to be a wolf to know when my boyfriend is hiding something.  So I started to let my imagination run wild! And you know how dangerous that can be.  So I started looking for clues and searching for evidence of  _ something  _ and oh god Derek, I’m so sorry…..,” Stiles ranted.

 

“Stiles, please just tell me what’s going on,” Derek pleaded.  Stiles stopped moving and finally faced Derek.  Tears were in his eyes when he let his head drop.  He crawled on the bed and got something out from under his pillow.  Turning to face Derek, he sat criss-cross and revealed what he was holding.  Derek let out a gasp.  “Der, I’ve ruined it.  I’m so sorry.”

 

Derek stared at the little blue box Stiles was holding so gently in his hands.  He bought that ring almost a year ago and has been waiting for the perfect moment to propose.  Of course this is how it happened.  When Derek still hadn’t said anything, Stiles started talking.  “I found it and I told myself I was just going to pretend I hadn’t, but that would have never worked Derek.  I feel so bad……,” Stiles was interrupted by Derek’s laughter.  His head whipped up.  “Derek?”  Stiles asked.  

 

“I’m sorry...I just….this is perfect Stiles….,” Derek answered as he tried to get a hold of his laughter.  He stopped when he smelled Stiles’ scent shift from guilt to confusion and now hurt.  Derek crawled on the bed and sat mirroring Stiles.  Taking his face in both hands Derek told him, “Oh Stiles.  I’ve been holding onto that for almost a year.  I wanted the moment to be perfect.  I was going to prepare this speech and sweep you off your feet, but this….this is us.  Me being unable to just figure it out and you pushing us to where we need to be.”  

 

Stiles sniffled, “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Derek replied smiling.  He placed a soft kiss on Stiles’ lips as he took the box from him.  Stiles leaned back.  “Just out of curiosity, if you had prepared a speech, what would you have said?” Stiles asked.

 

Derek snorted and locked eyes with the man he loved.  “I would have said that no one has ever made me feel so at peace in my life.  That I am so in love with you it hurts in the best possible way.  Not because you are my mate or some werewolf magic makes me react to you.  You are the most beautiful person I know.  You are fiercely loyal and kind.  You push me to be a better version of myself, but at the same time be completely me.  You make it Ok to laugh and love and hope, but you also give me space and understand when I need to get lost in the woods for awhile.  Your presence calms me and in the same breath makes me fill with passion.  You are my best friend, my heart, the breath I need to make me feel alive.”   Derek lifted his hand to wipe the tear that was escaping from Stiles and smiled.  Opening the box, but never losing eye contact Derek finally asked, “Be mine in every way, Marry me Stiles.”

 

Stiles nodded continuously, “yes, yes, and yes,” Stiles answered launching himself at Derek.  They laughed and kissed before breaking long enough for Derek to put the ring on his finger.  Stiles stared at it before looking up and smiling.  “For someone who said he hadn’t worked out what to say I think you nailed it.”

 

Derek rolled his eyes, “guess my fiance brings it out of me.”

 

“Fiance, I like the sound of that,” Stiles said smiling.

 

“Me too,” Derek responded before pushing Stiles on his back and covering him with his body.  “But I think I’ll like husband better,” Derek responded, covering Stiles’ groan with his mouth.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_ 5 years later……. _

 

Derek and Stiles laid in bed reading together, but Derek could tell Stiles was a million miles away.  He had been distracted these past few weeks, but any time Derek asked he would be brushed off.  He knew Stiles was keeping something from him and usually would let him review it from every angle and wait for him to finally come to him, but Derek couldn’t take it anymore.

 

Putting his book on the nightstand, Derek turned to Stiles and asked, “will you please tell me what’s going on in there?” 

 

Stiles turned wide eyes to meet Derek’s. “What?”

 

Derek sighed, “Stil…,”

 

“I want to have a baby,” Stiles blurted out before Derek could finish saying his name.  Derek blinked a few times trying to process what his husband had just said.  “I don’t think that’s possible Stiles….,”Derek trailed off.

 

Rolling his eyes, Stiles gestured between his legs with both his hands, “Not like,  _ have  _ a baby Derek, but…,” Stiles sighed, “I want to adopt a baby with you.  More specifically….two.” Stiles couldn’t meet Derek’s eyes.  Derek took his hand and put it under Stiles’ chin, lifting it so their eyes met.  “Stiles, why didn’t you say anything?”

Instead of answering, Stiles just shrugged.  He smelled of insecurity.  Derek gave him a soft smile before saying, “Stiles, I would love to start a family with you.”

 

“Really?”  Stiles asked.

 

Derek rolled his eyes, “duh”  Stiles laughed, scent morphing to happiness.  He leaned in and kissed Derek quickly before jumping out of bed.  “Where are you going?” Derek asked.  Stiles held up one figure to tell him to wait and went into their walk-in closet.  Coming out a minute later, Stiles was holding a black binder filled with papers.  

 

“Ok, don’t be mad, but Peter and I have been doing some research,” Stiles said opening the binder.

 

Derek’s eyebrows shot up, “Peter?”

 

“I know, we should have done this together, but I wanted to cover every angle before I came to you….I’m sorry,” Stiles answered.  Derek placed a kiss on his nose, “it’s Ok Stiles.  I get it,” he told him.  Stiles smiled up at his husband before diving into what he found.

 

“So, Peter and I wanted to see if there was a way to get werewolf children.  And turns out there is an agency that specializes in putting orphaned supernatural babies and children with families that can cater to their needs,” Stiles explained.  Shuffling some papers, Stiles found the picture he was looking for.  “These twins were brought in at two months.  Their mom died during childbirth and no one has come to claim them.  The girl, she’s having a hard time bonding with anyone.  Her brother is doing a little better, but so far none of the couples have been able to bond with either of them.”

 

Derek took the picture from Stiles and stared.  If he didn’t know any better, it could be a picture of him and Laura as babies.  Derek looked up at Stiles, “I know it’s a lot so think about it,” Stiles rushed out.  

 

“Ok,” Derek told him.

 

“Ok you’ll think about it…,” Stiles asked to clarify.

 

“Ok, let’s go meet them,” Derek responded in almost a whisper.

 

“Seriously?” Stiles squeaked.  

 

“Definitely,” Derek replied.

 

“Yeah.  Ok, I’ll call and set up an appointment,” Stiles said grabbing his phone.  

 

“Stiles,” Derek called.  

 

“Hmm?” Stiles answered while dialing the number.

 

“It’s after ten o’clock at night,” Derek said amused.  

 

Putting the phone to his ear, Stiles said, “I’ll just leave a message.  Let them know we’ll be there sometime tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow?”  Derek asked confused.

 

“They are in Oregon.  If we leave first thing in the morning we can be there by two.”

 

“Ok,” Derek said smiling.

 

“Ok,” Stiles breathed out before leaving a message.

  
  
  


Derek and Stiles  followed the nurse to the room where the twins were being kept.  “I don’t want you to get your hopes up.  You are the seventh couple to come see the twins.  At first, we thought they would respond to an Alpha, but even they couldn’t bond.  I just want you to be prepared,” the woman told them.

 

“We understand,” Derek told the woman for them both.  Stiles was bottled up nerves ready to explode.  The woman opened the door and inside there were two cribs.  Derek followed the woman to the little girl’s crib and looked down.  She started to fuss as the woman picked her up and handed her to Derek.  

 

“Shh,” Derek soothed.  The cries got louder causing the woman to give him a sympathetic look.  “Just give it a minute,” Derek told her.  He moved her from his arms and put her on his shoulder.  He bounced and let her take in his scent.  The longer he held her, her cries became less until they were gone all together.  

 

“Wow,” the woman said amazed.  “That hasn’t happened before,” she told them.  Stiles moved closer and placed a hand on her head full of almost black hair.  “Hey beautiful girl,” he whispered.  At the sound of his voice, the baby girl looked at him and smiled.  

 

“Could I hold the other baby?” Stiles asked.

 

“Of course,” the woman responded moving to the other crib.  Stiles cradled the baby boy in his arms like it was the most precious thing in life.  They sat next to each other in the rocking chairs, each holding a baby in their arms.  

“Well, it looks like they’ve found their parents,”  the woman announced as she watched the two men holding the babies.

 

“What do you think about that baby girl?” Derek asked the baby in his arms.  She made a happy noise that was quickly echoed by her brother.

 

Derek looked up to see Stiles staring at him with tears in his eyes, “I love you,” Stiles whispered.

 

“I love you too,” Derek whispered back.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

_ 10 years later…… _

 

Derek stretched to find him in bed alone.  Pulling on pajama pants, he went in search of his husband and rugrats.  First stop was Claudia’s room, but he was not prepared for what he saw.  Sitting at the little pink table with Claudia was Peter.  He was scrunched into the small chair, face covered in make-up, and was wearing a tiara and multi-colored boa.  

 

“More tea Uncle Peter?” Claudia’s sweet voice sang out.

 

“Of course Claudy,” he answered.

 

“For you daddy?” She asked Derek.

 

“No thanks baby girl,” he replied as he walked into the room.  “I don’t think I can be as pretty as your Uncle Peter.”

 

Peter growled at him.  “Uncle Peter!”  Claudia admonished.  “You are a lady! And ladies don’t growl,” she told him.  It took every ounce of strength for Derek not to laugh.  “Forgive me Princess,” Peter apologized to her and shot Derek a glare.

 

Derek walked over to his daughter and placed a kiss on the top of her head.  “I’m going to go find your papa and brother.  Love you.”

 

“Love you too daddy,” she said leaning up and kissing his cheek.

 

Derek made his way down the stairs and to the kitchen, but stopped to listen to his son and husband.

 

“And I held him up for over two hours!”  Stiles exclaimed.  

 

“Really Papa?”  Eric asked.

“Yes.  Being human doesn’t make you weak Eric.  The humans are what hold this pack together.  Remember that kiddo,” Stiles told his son.

 

“That’s what Uncle Scott said too,” Eric said.  

 

“Well, he’s my best friend so he’s gotta be right,” Stiles replied.  

 

Eric laughed, sounding so much like Stiles, Derek couldn’t help but smile.  

 

“You remember that when it comes to your sister too.  She may be a werewolf, but you guys have to look out for each other,” Stiles said.

 

“Oh I know papa.  The other day, Suzie was being mean again.  I could tell she was about to lose it so I went up to Suzie and told her, ‘you better leave my sister alone!’ and she said, ‘or what?” and I said, ‘or I’ll let her off her leash!’ and then Claudia growled! Suzie got outta there quick!  Then Claudia and I laughed so hard papa,” Eric told Stiles.

 

Stiles was laughing now too, “dog jokes never get old,” he told his son.  Derek decided to make his presence known before things got out of hand.

 

“What’s going on in here?”  Derek asked.

 

“Daddy!”  Eric squeaked as he got off the stool and ran to Derek.  “Papa was telling me about how he saved you in the pool!”

 

“Is that so?” Derek asked sending a smirk to his husband.  

 

Stiles walked over and placed a kiss on Derek’s lips.  “Gross,” Eric whined, squirming to get out of Derek’s hold and running out of the kitchen.  

 

Derek pulled Stiles closer and kissed him properly.  Breaking apart, Stiles whispered, “good morning.”

 

“Morning,” Derek answered.  Still trying to figure out how he got so damn lucky.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_ 15 years later…….. _

 

Stiles pulled the second turkey out of the oven and set it on the counter to cool.  “Table’s set papa!” Claudia called from the dining room.  “Ok baby, see if your grandpa needs help,” he said back knowing she would hear him.  “Ok!” she called running into the living room, Eric fast behind her.  

“Need any help?”  Derek asked as he entered the kitchen.

 

“Nope.  I’ll have my dad come in and carve the turkey in a minute,” Stiles told him as he wrapped his arms around Derek’s waist.  “You’ve been working so hard today, let me finish the rest,” Derek told him.

 

“I don’t mind,” Stiles told him.  He loved that he got to cook for the pack on Thanksgiving.  They were all home now, for good.  Over the years, Derek started building other houses on the property.  One for Scott and Kira, one for Cora and her now husband Dominic, and one for Hayden, Liam, Corey, and Mason.  Malia and her girlfriend Raven live in the main house with Derek and Stiles still and it will probably stay that way.  

 

“Ready for me?” the sheriff asked coming into the kitchen with his grandkids in tow.

 

“Ahh grandpa, they’re doing it again,” Claudia groaned unhappily.  The sheriff chuckled and pulled her in for a hug.  “That’s what love looks like baby girl.  Remember that,” he told her.

 

Both kids wrinkled their noses and ran out of the kitchen.  Noise from the living room grew louder as more of the pack arrived and the kids started to play.  “You can cut the turkey dad, everything is ready,” Stiles answered before walking out of the kitchen to get the pack ready to sit down to eat.  The sheriff cut the turkey and Derek helped him plate it.  

 

Sitting down at the table, Derek looked around.  Peter was at the other end and to his right was Malia and Raven, Scott, Kira and their two boys, one wolf and one fox.  Kira’s belly growing bigger every day.  Melissa sat with them and the sheriff next to her.  Derek sat on the other end with Stiles by his side followed by Claudia and Eric, Cora and Dominic with their little girl, Mason and Corey, and Hayden and Liam with their little boy.  The pack was together and thriving.  Noise filled the room as they talked, laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company.

 

Happiness filled the room as plates were cleared of food and packed full again. Derek felt a contentment he had never known.  He felt Stiles’ hand as it moved up his leg to lace their fingers together under the table.  Looking up, he stared into the most beautiful amber eyes.  They smiled at each other, knowing exactly what the other was thinking without words.  Stiles mouthed, “I love you.”

 

Derek mouthed, “I love you too,” and leaned forward to meet Stiles halfway for a kiss.  To think, all this happiness and peace started because his wolf knew something Derek hadn’t quite figured out and because Stiles was brave enough to take a chance.


End file.
